Nothing was the same

So I know it's been a good while since e posted something on here. To be honest, I haven't felt any passion for writing in the past two years. Today though, I feel like I need to get this off my chest.  Today marks two years when my whole life changed. A day that stays on repeat in the corners of my mind. A day that still till this day brings me great heartache. Todays marks the day that my brother passed away and began his next adventure.

My brother was sick and needed and kidney transplant. He didn't want to take one from his family or his friends even though we offered. He always hoped that his time would come for his name to be called on the transplant list but it never came. Maybe if I had pushed hard enough for him to see if I was a match he still be around. That's is one of my biggest regrets of my life.

On the 2nd of April, I had just gotten back from Atlanta. Around 1 in the am, I saw him covered in sweat and gasping for breathe. I call 911, they came, and we went to the er. I had work that afternoon but I was not leaving until I got an update. Around 6 in the am, my grandpa said the doctor was keeping him there to run some test so he could come home. Little did I know at the the he wouldn't make it back home

On the 4th, we got a saying something was wrong with his heart. I told my job what was going on and the family went to the hospital. On the ride there, I just called all my cousins that I could get hold of and my dad to let them know what was going on. On the ride there I was just praying everything would be ok. We got there and he was ok. They had to do something to see what was wrong with his heart. Before he went in, he was crying and scared. Out of my 28 years of living, I ever seen him like that. In my eyes he was always this strong, tough man and to see him like that broke me but I was being strong for him and my family. He got out he was dazed from the drugs but talking. He was talking to everyone in the room, and where he wanted to talk to me, I broke down crying and I never got to hear what he wanted to tell me. That's my 2nd biggest regret. I spent the whole day in the hospital and when our came to take over, I left and told him I would see him later.

On the sixth, I had the day off so I went up there and spent the day with him. Of course my grandpa beat me up there so I grab him some food. My bro did his dyias and come back to the room. The door figure out what was wrong with his heart and made plans to fix it that Tuesday. So after my grandpa left, me and my brother just talked and hanged. We hadn't done that in forever but it just felt right. We was talking about the newest phone that was coming out and what he was going to do for his daughter birthday. It just like old times. When our fried came to see him, I told him goodbye and I would see him this weekend. Little did I know that was on my last time seeing him alive.

On the 8th, I got off from work and had to make a quick stop. I called my brother to see if he was up...no answer. So I went to the house. My grandpa asked if I saw my brother. I told him that I called, he did answer so he must be asleep so I would see him tomorrow.

On the 9th, I went to work early and then went for a run. Afterwards I went home. My gray asked did I see my brother because everyone else in the house did. I told him no but I had an off day Monday so I was going to spend the day with him. That is my 3rd biggest regret because Monday never came.

After 10:30 that night, my family got a call that would change our lives forever. First the house phone rang. My grandpa answered. Two minutes later my mom phone rang. She answered. Next thing I know my mom is crying like I never seen her cry before. My grandpa tells me my brother had a heart attack and we need to go to the hospital now. As I get  putting on anything I could found, I just asked God to let him be ok. I calling my cousins and my dad to let them know what was happening will trying to be strong for my mom. That drive to the hospital was the fastest yet longest drive of my life. When we pulled up I let my mom out and I went to find some where to park. When I park I just asked how to let my brother be ok. Of he needed to take anyone then let it be me but don't make my brother away from the family and his kids. He has so much much to do. After that prayer, I walking into the hospital. I walk into my pastor and his son. They asked if he was ok and I just said I didn't know. I walked in my friend told me not to pass her. I ask what happened. She says nothing, only lowers had head and shakes it. In my head I knew what happened at that point but I didn't want to believe it. I ask where he at, she tells me and I ran to his room and saw him. His body was there, his eyes were opened, but there's was no one inside. I still didn't want to believe until I saw my mom. She was in so much pain, crying so hard that it I had no choice but to appect it......my brother was gone and he was never coming back

The following next few days, I felt every emotion under the sun. I felt numb, like I was here but my soul was somewhere else. People would check on me and tell me things would get better, but I didn't want to here it. The only thing that would get me back to normal would be my brother. It got so bad that I wasn't eating, didn't sleep, and cry all the time that I just couldn't take it anymore. I was angry at god, like why you had to take him away. It got to a point where depression hit hard and I didn't want to deal with it anymore. The one thing that saved me from going off the deep end was my baby cousin. Idk why, but seeing her just just want I needed and I will be forever grateful for that.

So fast forward and is it time for the home going service. I had prepare myself for that day all week, but it didn't help at all. Seeing him in the casket just hurt my soul so bad. I wanted him just to get out of it but o knew he wouldn't. My mom, his kids, and myself got up to see him one last time when everyone got done viewing him. Then we closed the lid on the casket. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The service goes on and folks are saying what my brother meant to them. I knew my time was coming but I had nothing to say. I couldn't just sum up my brother life in just a few minutes. When it was time, I just got up and the words just flew out. I don't remember what I said, but all I know is that they came from the heart. After the pastor said his peace, they blessed the body, loaded the casket into the hearse, and that was it. I wouldn't see him again in person.

As I write this, the tears are flowing and the hurt is this felt and that's ok. All that means is that my brother was/is an important person in my life. Since he left, I definitely have not been the same. Things don't get to me like they used to. I don't get angry or worry about things like I used to. I used to think death was the end, but in reality it's only the beginning of the next adventure. Even though he is not here in body, in some ways I can still feel his energy so I know he is still around in one way or another.

In his passing, my brother thought me to important lesson. The first thing is don't take no one for granted. You don't know how much time you have with people so tell and show them how you feel about them. The second thing is to you don't know when your time is coming so do live your life to the fullest and chase your dreams. You don't want to look back and life in a world of regrets/what ifs.

In closing, my brother passing still gets to me to this day and I think it will always. The way I can honor him is to life live with no regrets, and be the man he knew I could be. Johnathan, I love you and miss you so much. I will look after your kids, the family, and fo my best to make you proud. Like I said on night of your passing, I will see you again down the road. Just be ready for all the stories I will have to tell you when that day comes. Love, your little brother.

Dreams/Goals/Passions

What is the "American Dream?' To most people, it is to work hard at a job, earn good money, and to live a good/comfortable life. While that is good for most, that is not the case for all. I know the latter applies to me. Since high school, all I have heard was go to college, and do good so you can land a great job.  Doing that time, I believed that was the way to go. I really thought that was the way to get the "American Dream." All that changed one faithful day in the summer of 2012.

During this time, I was in the home stretch of my college career. I didn't know what job/career I wanted after school. I had an idea of what I eventually wanted to do. All of that changed one summer day. I was on the way to class when a random idea came into my mind; "Start a t-shirt brand" With that one thought, the name and concept of the brand came flowing in my mind. I had never wanted to go into doing t-shirts. Hell the idea of starting my own business never accord to me, but in that one instance, I knew what I wanted to do.

Everyone I talked to about the idea, from friends to family, believed my idea was good and I could make something of it. As my last semester of college was coming to an end, I has getting ready to graduate. With the end of college, I was heading into "The Real World." even though it was sink or swim time, I wasn't worried or afraid. I didn't know how, but I knew everything would work out. I was ready to turn my idea into a reality.

After school, I began to design. I worked on this project like my life depend on it. In order to begin that process, I needed money which meant I needed a job. I thought since I had a degree, finding a job would be easy. Boy was I wrong. It seemed like everywhere I applied for a job I would get rejected from. It came to a point where I put my focus only on finding a job that I did not work on my idea.

After what seemed like forever and a day, I finally landed a job. It was not the best of jobs, but it was something to get my bills paid, and for me to put some money aside. I planned on working there while looking for a better job, and work on my idea.. As time went on, I continued working there at that job while more ideas came to mind. Occasionally, I would work on my idea of the t-shirt brand, but it seemed like the "Real Word" had other plans. Between work, being an "Adult," and trying not to lose myself in this world, somewhere down that path I had forsaken my dream. It seemed like I was living the "American Dream", but not my own.

Time flew by and what I thought would be a job that would last only a few months has turn into a 3 year stay. During these 3 years, I have worked my ass of for what? No raise/promotion and not even a mention of one from the higher ups. All of my current and former coworkers would tell me I should have been a manager by now, but I guess the higher ups don't see it like that. I just fed up with that job. I am sick of feeling like my hard work doesn't mean shit. I am tired of not getting paid what I think I should be. I am sick of feeling like a caged bird. In a nut shell, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I asked god/universe for guidance/direction because I am nowhere near where I feel like I should be at in this journey called life. There's an old saying that says be careful for what you ask for because you just might get it. Recently, I bumped into one of my old teachers from high school. After catching up, he asked t-shirt brand I told him about a few years ago. After I told him what was going on with it, he gave me some encouraging words, and told me to get back working on it. A few days later, I spoke to one of my best friends and he told me he had quit his job. He had been talking about this for a while, but he finally pulled the trigger. When I asked him what made him finally go through with it, his reasons weren't to far from mines. He didn't like his jib, he wanted to do more, and he wanted to work on his dream. Even though he had a good job that paid way more than what I make, I have never seen him happier and more at ease than he is now.

After those events, the fire has been relit inside of me. That was the kick in the ass I needed, I am more focused than ever to make my dreams a  reality. I know it won't be an easy task, but nothing that is worth anything comes easy. I believe  I had to be put in this situation to show me what will happen if I don't follow my dreams now. I going to stuck at a dead end job. I will eventually become complacent like I see many of my coworkers are. My dreams will die, I would live in the world of "What if," and I won't truly be happy or free. Now it is up to me to make the right steps/moves and put in some hard work . Eventually all of  my dreams/goal will come true, and I will be a better person from going though tis experience. Instead of living the "American Dream," I going start living my dream/goals/passions and bringing forth my thoughts into reality. That first step begins now, so lets see what this journey takes me.

"I pledge my love to you"

Well folks, I am back again. I know I have not posted anything for a while, but  that do to the fact that I have been busy with an assortment of things. I will get into that at a later time, but now it is time to get into the topic at hand. Wedding season has officially began, and earlier this month I went to my first wedding of this season. Of course I was going there to support the groom, which so happened to be my cousin, and his soon to be wife. It didn't hurt that I had a week off from work too, but that is nether here nor there. What I thought was going to be a trip to see family, have a good time, and just get a chance of scenery turned into so much more. Before we into that, lets start at the beginning.

My cousin and his now wife have been together for about six years now. They met at college and pretty much been stuck like glue since then. Folks would occasionally ask when were they going to jump the broom. Of course, he would play off the question or give the classic "When the time is right" answer. Well the time was right because about two years ago, my cousin surprised her, popped the question, and she said yes. Fast forward to about 7 months ago, the official date for the wedding was announced. Now fast forward to this past weekend and the wedding is only 24 hours away.

Its the day of the wedding, and I am tired like a mug. I think I went a little too hard with the partying the night before, but that is a tale for another day. We get to the venue, and it seems like all of their classmates from college were there along with family. Five o clock hits, and the wedding begins. The family was escorted down to their sits, music starts planning, the wedding party walk down the aisle, and the ceremony begins. As the wedding was going on the couple begin to say their vows. What got me was when the bride saying her vows. To summarize, she said that she never thought she would fall in love, but then she met my cousin and that idea changed, and she was thankfully to God for him. Another part that caught my attention is when they were repeating after the pastor...."I Pledge My Love To." I would not understand why until the reception would happen.

So the reception begins and the newlyweds come in together. They have their first dance , and all the married couples came on the floor to celebrate with them. Seeing all the married people together having fun, and loving each other sparked an idea in my mind....."You Deserve This. You Deserve To Be Happy And In Love." As these thoughts were going on in my mind, the line "I Pledge My Love To You" kept  replaying in my mind. At first, I just took those words that at face value. After seeing all the married couples together, I finally understood what those words meant. To me, those words meant that there is no other human on this world that can love me better than you. It means that I am giving you the one thing that many have tried to obtain, but did not measure up to you. It means no matter what life throws at us, I will be by your side. In its simplest form, it means I love you and I will always will.

To sum it up, the wedding was awesome. I got to go a trip, see family, and watch two people become one couple. I also got a better understanding on what this thing called love is really about. Now after reading this, you must be wondering "Is he ready for love?" To be honest, why not. I feel like there is love out there for me, and I am ready for it whenever that person comes. I am open to any and all things god/the universe has in store for me. When this will all happen?  Only the most high can answer that question, but I will keep yall posted. Well folks that is it. As always, live, be great, and do dope shit.

Under Control

Well folks, its about that time once again. Now if you have some of my previous post, you know I have talked about a very special person I met in college. Well today marks the day eight years ago that I met that person. For the OG readers, yall probably like " here we go again with all that sappy stuff again." Some of  yall might have not even made it past the third line of this post. For those of you who are still reading this, rest assured in the fact that I will not be getting into my feelings like I usually do on this subject. This post will be dealing with her, but in a different way than usual.

So after all this time thinking, missing, and wondering about her, I have come to face reality and the truth. The reality is no matter how much I may try not to, a part of me will love this woman. The truth, however is that it is time for me to move on. In speaking on the reality, I had to think about why I haven't/couldn't get over her. after a lot of thinking, I have come with two possible reasons. The first is that she really could be my soulmate/the one. people always say that you know when you have found the one. They don't tell you how just tell you that you will know. Sometimes, when thinking about my future, the first image that pops up in my head is her.  Sometimes I image we are having full blown talks with her about any and everything. In doing all of that, I realize the second reason why I can't get over her. She represent the idea of me loving someone. For the longest, I did not anything to do with love. I just wanted to be alone forever. Then see came along and changed that idea. Maybe she represents the idea, and I just love her for giving me that idea. Who knows.

After facing the reality, its then time for me to accept the truth. I been stick/hung up on this woman for way to long. I haven't talked to her in I don't know how long, and I never told her how I felt. I may not know to how about love, but one thing that I do know is that when it hits you, you should be able to tell that person with no problem. Am I afraid to tell her, Partly yes. I don't know if I well the same way about her as I did way back in the day. I don't know where she at in life. Hell I don't know if she is single or not. Instead of doing all of this wondering, hoping, and praying that we will meet up in the future, maybe its just time for me to look for love with someone else. Maybe she was just there to show me how to have love for someone and the results of not telling them. Again, who knows.

With all of this being said, I think this will be the last time I write about her....maybe. Look, I don't know what the future may hold between mr and he her. Only god knows that. A wise person once said that people come to a lives to either be a lesson or a blessing. I thing with her, I think she is both a blessing and lesson. The blessing was to let me know what love is and what it feels like. The lesson is to not keep that feeling to myself. If I ever feel that way about someone, I will let them know in a heartbeat without a second thought neither.  So as for right now, I feel like I have everything under control. Who knows what the future will hold. What shall be will be. on that note folks. its time for me to get off this thing. As always....live, be great, do dope shit.

Words I Could Never Say

Well folks, if you are expecting this to be some kind of day in the life/pop culture/live event post, then this is not that kind of post for today. In fact, I do not know what exactly this post will end up saying. You may be wondering why I am writing this for. To be honest, I do not why myself. I just felt complied to write. this, like something drawing me to type all of this out. Really, this is more like getting this of my soul and lifting some baggage of my self. This post is basically saying the things I wish I could tell a special someone. So here we go....

To that special someone,
It has been about 7 years since we last saw each other.
A lot has happened between then and now.
The times have changed. The world has changed. We have changed
Between the distance from the last time we saw each other until this very moment, we have both grown, went/still going through life, and experience different things.
We are not the same people that we was once were back in the days of the valley.
In the time between then and now, I have realized a thing or two.
I have realized that since that time, I have missed you dearly.
I have realized that I am a fool for not keeping in contract with you.
I have realized how special you are to me.
Last but not least, I have realized two important things.
Those things are that I loved you, and I should have told you that back then.

Why didn't I tell you this back then, or even now.
Why do I feel this way.
The reason I din not say anything was I honestly did not thing I had a change with someone like you.
In my eyes, I was just a regular ol joe and you were perfect.
I did no think a person like you would want anything to do with a person like me.
On top of that, I had some issues that I felt like I needed to handle alone, so I pushed you away and destroyed our friendship.
Even though we fixed things, nothing really was the same afterwards,
We eventually drifted apart.
But in that time apart, I realized how I felt about you and the reason why.

I loved you because you saw me as a person.
I loved how we would just hang out, eat at the café, and go to different stuff around the campus.
I loved how your smile could brighten up my day.
I loved how your light/energy could bring out the best in in me.
I loved how you accepted me as I was, and did not try to change me.
I love how we could just be silly around each other, no matter who was around.
In all, I loved the person that you were...mind, body, and soul

Now I know that we both have our own life.
We both are own paths on this journey called life that has taken down different roads.
The us then vs the us now are two different people.
You are living your live right now and I am doing the same.
But no matter where life has/will take us, one thing will never change.
Your were, still, and always will be someone special to me that I hold dear.

Now on the off change that you will read this, you maybe thing I am trying together with you.
While I would like for us to be together, this is no the point of this.
By now, you are probably a lucky man's lady and are happy together.
That is all I want for you is to be happy, whether that be with me or someone else.
I want you to be successful in whatever you do in life.
I want your light to shine in this world.
I want you to do want ever makes you happy in life.
All in all, I just want you to be happy.
who knows what the cards hold for us.
Maybe one day, if the most  high will allow it, we will once again meet up and be in each others lives again.
If that ever happens, then these words that I am typing now will transform into words that I can tell you.

The Thing About Something

OK folks. I know I haven't been on here in a while and to be honest, I really don't have a reason why. With all the stuff that's been going on in the world, you would thing I would have something to talk about. While that may be the case, I just haven't felt like blogging. Why you may ask? Once again I don't know.

Don't get me wrong. I like blogging. Sometimes it is more helpful to write about some of this stuff. Hopefully may stuff will help someone out or inspire them to do something. Why would I stop writing then? Well, to be honest, I just be in a funk lately. I don't enjoy some of the things I used to, and I haven't really do none of the stuff that makes me happy. Between work and family issues, a you king is drained. Hell anyone would be. So how do I pull myself out of this funk? The thing about something project.

So what is The Thing About Something? Well its a project which will not only help me out of this runt, it will also help me to become a better writer. Basically, I got six one subject notebooks and I going to write in there everyday until they are filled up. The topics will range from any and everything. Once a week, I going to pick something that I wrote and post it up here. Hopefully this will help me to become a better writer, person, and get me out of this funk.

So this is about the end of this post. It wasn't nothing major but I just wanted to keep folks in the loop. As the project processes, who knows what will come from it. Hell from all I know. I could be writing a best selling novel and I don't even know it. All I know is I felt the most high put this on my heart to do so I know something will come from this that will help me for the better. Well that's all folks. Until next time......Live. Be Great. Do Dope Shit.

To Be Black in America....From negus to Ni:::s

Throughout history, black people have been getting the short end of the stick in the land of the free and the home of the Braves. From being taken from Africa to be sold as slaves to still be treated as second class citizens in a country that we helped build, black people have had a long and twisted history with this country. Lately, even though it's been happening for over 400 years, blacks have seemingly been targeted and killed. We also have been under attack for how we react to this crimes. It seems like there is a big discount with black America and the rest of America. Why might you ask? Well besides a number of reasons, and trust me there's a lot, I feel one of the main reason is that the rest of America thinks it has an idea on what it is like to be black in this country, but in reality they have the slightest idea. So in this post, I will try to get my non black readers to understand how it feels, at least for me, to be black in America.

To be black in America, to start this off, is an interesting experience to say the least.  For me, it is like America needs us but does not want to keeps us. To be black in America, you need to be aware of the history that started over 400 years ago. If you look at the time pre 400 years ago, you will see an amazing thing that is not written in most history books. You will see a time where we were kings, queens, warriors, and tribal leaders. You we see, if you look hard enough, that we had strong traditions and we were living and striving. As you can image, we were living as Negus. 

To be black in America is to know a sad fact. Over 400 years ago, we were kidnapped and stolen from our homeland in Africa and brought to America as slaves.To be black in America is to know that all of our traditions, stories, and families were almost lost over a thing called slavery. We were sold and treat like animals. We were considered property not people, and at one time we were not even considered to be a person by the law of the land. To be black in America is to know that were Negus at first, but as soon as we were brought to America, they took that word a turn it into something negative in there own way. Basically, we went from Negus to Niggers.

Now that you know part of the history, let's fast forward to present times. To be black in America can be quite difficult at times. Its to know 9 times out of 10, the cards are stacked against you. You could go to the best school in the country, have a number of degrees, and still be turned down for a job that you are qualify to do for someone who is less qualify, Its to know some people will treat you like crap now matter how you act or how you dress. To be black in America is to know that you can be dressed fresh to death/sharp as a tack and still be treated like a second class citizen.

To be black in America is to know that this country will take the coolest/must important things in our life/culture,and make it there own. Now I am all for sharing culture and viewpoints, but please give credit where credit is due. Its like our history is not being realized at all among the rest of non black America. We have black history month, but 28 days is not enough for the rest of America to see our contribution to this country. Its like Black people lives began with slavery in the eyes of America, but way before then we had a long rich history. Then some history books want to amend slavery from the history books and pretend it never happened.

I could go on and on we this but before this post is over, I will touch on one more outlook on black in America. To be black in America is to have a target on you back. These days, you will be attack by the police, the media,  the politicians, and even ourselves at times. To be black is to know you may and will be killed for just about anything. You can be walking home from the gas station, holding a bb gun at Walmart, coming home from from your bachelor party, or just looking suspicious. To be black in America is like being treated like scum but expected to act like a model citizen when shit pops up. When blacks people riot for an injustice, they will be called thugs and savages. When other people riot for no just reason, people and the media have nothing bad to say about them. They will look for any reason to blame us for our own problem, but they will not address the real source of the problem.

Well I think you got a little insight on the black experience in America. Although its not all bad, the bad does out weigh the bad most of the time. Even though we go through all of this, we still shine and over come. I know there will some people that will disagree with this post, and that is alright. Either you don't know what it is like to be black in this country, you just have not gone through these things, or you just do not care. Once again I am not speak for all black people. I just speaking from my outlook on things. At the end of the day, I am a black man with Negus blood in my veins.

Five years from now.....

Well ladies and germs, if you are reading this then you already  know what time it is.  Now for this post, I'd planned on writing it back in April, but somethings just need to take time to get better like wine or seasoned meat before you cook it. So for those of you who did not know, one of my favorite shows of the past six years have been GLEE. Last month, they wrapped up the series with a two hour series finale. The first hour dug into the past of some the characters and showing why they joined the glee club in the first place. For the second a final hour of this series, it got back on track with the season's current story line and they showed a five year time skip with the main characters of the show. The time skip showed that all of them went after their dreams, and in the process became successful. While looking at the second part of the finale, I began to wonder what my life will be like in the next five years. While I can not say for sure how my life will actually turn out in 2020, I do have an idea on how i would like to turn out to be/.

Career
Five years form now, I would like to have a job/career that allows my to travel the world and explore new things. I would like to attend different events that I can write about and give the world my experience on it. While I am doing that, I would also like to either be establish or on the up and coming of having my own business. What will my business be? To be honest, I have an idea of what I want it to be but I don"t know exactly what it will be. What I do know is I already have the concept down packed so who knows what will come from it. Hell you could be reading the blog of a future successful millionaire. This may not be on the career path, but i would like to change the world for the better somehow through my business. Either that or spark someone that will change the world.

Family
Now for those who have read my blogs in the past, you know how my views on this topic tends to change like the seasons.One day I just want to ride off into the sunset by myself and other times I can see myself doing the whole wife and kids thing. How do I picture myself in 2020? I really do not know to be honest. I think I would be okay with either choice, but if I was to do some deep soul searching, I am leaning more towards the wife and kids side of things. Shocking I know. They say that there is a person for everyone in the world. Will I find that person within the next five years? Who knows but on the off chance that I do find that special female, y'all will be the fourth  to know.

Life in General
Well most people would think a good life does consist of a good job/career and a loving family. While that is good and all, there is more than that to me. So how do I see my life in the next five years? Hopefully I will still be alive and kicking in 2020. If so, the most important thing I want out of life is to be happy. I am not saying that I am not happy now, but there is nothing wrong with wanting more happiness in ones life. I want every choice I make and everything I do throughout my to be because I truly want to do it and not because i have to?due to money. I want to live with no regret. I do not to live in fear. I have done this for most of my life and it sucks.I want to live for myself and not for others. I want to grab life by the horns and live it out to the fullest. All in all, I just want to have an awesome/amazing life.

There you have it folks. This is how I see my life in the next five years. Like I said before, I do not know how things will play out for me in the future. If I have any say so in the matter, this is how I would like my life to be or a version of it if possible. I just want to be successful, happy, and one of the dopest person on the face of this planet. Lets see how all of this will come to play in the years to come. What do you see your life heading in the next coming years? Hopefully everyone will be doing what makes them happy. Well folks there is all for now. As always.....Life. Be Great. Do Dope Shit.

Moment of Truth: Love Is In The Air???

Well ladies and germs, this weekend has been a very long weekend. As part of my goals for 2015, I set out to do at least one new thing a month that I have never done before. What is the new thing that I did this weekend is what you might be asking yourself right now. Well for the first time ever, I was a groom men at a wedding. Shocking, I know. Now what does being a groom man have to do with the topic of this post? I will explain it all, but first we have to start from the beginning of the whole wedding event.

About the second half of 2014, I just so happened to be on the book of many faces and I saw one of my buddies got engaged. Now you know as soon as I saw this, I instantly call her to get the 411 on the whole situation. Just a few months later, I was at TGIF Fridays with a group of friends, and out of nowhere I see my buddy and I get to meet her fiancee. I introduced myself, and after the brief conversation, he seemed like a cool dude. It wasn't until November that i really got to get to know him, After some food, drinks and laughter, I could tell that he would make my buddy happy.

Around January, I was told when the wedding was going to take place. I was happy to hear that the wedding was right around the corner. Then like two weeks later, my buddy hits me up, and ask me to be a grooms man in her wedding. At first I was like "What exactly does a grooms man do?" After that thought passed my mind, I instantly said yes. After a fitting for a tux, the countdown to the wedding was officially on. After a few weeks, the wedding was just 48 hours away.

After reading this thus far, you may be wondering what all of this has do with the topic of the blog. Well I am getting to it. It's the Friday before the wedding, and on that day I got to meet all the people who were going to be in the wedding. After the rehearsal we all went out to dinner. Around 9:30, the females went there way and the guys went there way. After meeting up with the fellas, we just drunk a few brews, watched TV, and just talked. The talking was the best part to me. The groom and the best man started talking about their ladies and how much they loved them. They also seems sad that they could not be around them. For me being a single guy, it was interesting to see guys talk about love like this. For what I was gathering from the convo, it seems like love had changed them for the better and their lives would not be the same without the ladies that they loved. That got me to thinking for a quick second about love.

Its the day of the wedding, and I am looking fresh to death in my tux. Now we had two hours before the big event so the guys was doing anything that the groom need us to do. We could tell that he was ready to get the show on the road to marry his lady. About 30 minutes before showtime, the groom recorded a message for my buddy. Basically, the message said how much he loved her, he was happy to be marrying her, and he couldn't wait to start their lives together. Once again, I begin to think about love.

So now it is show time. As the music begins to play, I walk the beautiful bride maid down the aisle and the only thing I could think of is "DO NOT TRIP, DO NOT FALL." After everybody is in their place, the bride aka my buddy walks down and you could see tears start to form in the eyes of the groom. As the pastor was unity the two into one, I kept on thinking about love and the role it plays in my life. I wondered if finding love was in the cards for me. After they said their I do's, we took pictures and had the reception. Doing the reception, the newlyweds engaged their vows, and doing the process both of them got chocked up said their vows. They even shed tears doing the process. Then the best men and the maid of honor gave their toast to the couple, and wished them the best. Once again I thought about love.

With all the being said, what is the point of all of this? Well one could say that seeing this example of love has made me question my thoughts on the topic. For the most part, I have seen love as just an option, something people do when they get lonely. I have really only felt love for only one person in my 26 years of living. After that did not go as I thought it would, I gave up on love. I thought that, and sometimes still do, that I just meant to be alone. After this past weekend, I might have had a change of heart. Seeing people who really love each has sparked a side of me that I thought was long gone. The idea of sharing your life with the love of your life is not such a bad thing. Finding someone who helps you to better yourself and completes you is not such a bad thing. Most importantly, love in its truest form is not such a bad thing.

After all of that, will I be the next one to get married? HELL NO!!!! Will I jump into a relationship anything soon? Probably not. To be honest, I more than likely remain the same when it comes to any aspects of love. It's not that I'm not ready to be in a relationship, I just bidding my time and just waiting for the right woman to come around. Hell I have probably have already met the person and just haven't realized it. Who knows? Maybe sometime this year, I will be writing about how I found the love of my life. All in all, this weekend has had an impact on my life that i am truly grateful for. Well folks, that is all for now. As always; Live. be great, do dope shit.

Moment of Truth; Pursuit of Happeniess

Well for a few months now, I have been debating on rather or not to do a post on this topic. After much thought and consideration, I came up with one conclusion...FUCK IT just do it...which by the way is how most of my choices come around to. I always say that people need to be more transparent these days so I am going to take my own advice and be transparent so here we go.

For a while now, I have been in a funk. I have been seeing all of my friends truly enjoying life, doing new things and truly exploring the world. Me, on the other hand, are not doing anything close to any of these things. I been working the same job for almost two years now with no signs of moving on up, I don't really do anything worth while, and it seems like my creativity is slowly but surely escaping my being. The way I see it is everyone is happy with life and I am just content with my life right now.

When did this happen?? When did I, a young king, become content with having a plain, basic life?? To be honest, I don't have no idea. I used to have dreams, and goals on what I want to do with my life, I used to be full of life, positive energy, joy, and peace. Nowadays, I am the complete opposite of this. Before, I used to be actually happy. Now, I can say that I am just getting by. If I going to be completely honest, I thing the "real world" has finally gotten to me.

Between my job, my location, and the "real world", I can see how my happiness have departed from my being, and you know what....IT SUCKS. I want to be the old me once again aka the true me. I want to have fun. I want to explore the world. I want to live and be apart of the true world, not the "real world" to sum it all up, I want to be happy. Easier said than done.

How will I truly become happy again? After much thought, I came up with the conclusion that I need to forsake this so call "real world" and seek out/and live in the true world. You may be wondering what is the true world? Basically, the true world is what you can not obtain in the "real world". The true world is where people dreams come true, where people can truly become themselves, and where everything money can not buy resides. To obtain this, I feel like I have to do three basic things: leave my current job, move away from my current location, and go after my dreams.

I may be in a funk right now, but I know that I will eventually become my former self once again sooner or later. I can already see some chances that are happening in my life for the better. I just going to take things one day at a time, and see what happens. I just going to do the things that i know will grant my true happiness again. So watch out world, I coming back even better than I was the last time. OK so that is the end of this blog. As always...Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit

Tragic in America Part two: Blue Privilege

In part one of of this two part blog, I'd discussed the verdict of the Michael Brown and Eric Garner case. I talked about how the countless other murders that were similar to these two deaths, how the murders of these people seem to always get off, and how it seems like black people have not escape the rules/terms of the three/fifths compromise. In that post, I was speaking as an angry black person that was fed up with all the injustice that has fallen upon black people. Now for this post, I will look at the other side of the coin in an effort to come to some sort of solution to this problem. There have been a lot of time about white privilege during this whole situation. A lot of people have been throwing around the race card as well. While I am not saying race is not a major factor in the world, I do believe that this is not the only factor in these crimes. Race is just one of many tools to hide the true issue, which in this case just happen to be the police.

Now since I can remember, there have seemed to be a bad relationship between blacks and the police. From what I can tell, the problem seems to be that a good amount of  black people do not trust the police, and a good amount of the police seem to think that black people are always up to no good. Now factor in those to facts and apply them to these cases. In all these cases that I mentioned in my previous blog, the killers just so happened to be the police and the victims were black. When asked why did they use such lethal force, one thing that all the police had in common is that during some point during the altercation the police feared for their lives. Keep in mind that all the victims were unarmed. Now I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but if the person is unarmed then why use deadly force? I am sure that with all of their training and other means to subdue a person, there is no reason at all that these officers had to kill these people and likewise, there is no why the victims are not here with us today. 

Just like all black people are not thugs, gangsters, and drug dealers not all police are not bad/crooked. It just that the ones that are bad gives the perceptive that the rest are the same way and that goes for both sides. The question is why do the police always seem to get off scoot free? It because of blue privilege. You may be wondering what blue privilege is at this point. Blue privilege is special rights that only the police have. They take the oath to protect and uphold the laws of the land but it seems that some feel like they are above the law in a sense. One may say the police pick and chose which laws they chose to follow and enforce. In the cases that I mentioned, they did not give these victims their right to due progress and to be tried by a group of their peers. If we do not honor these rights, then we are no better than the counties that we fight in wars.

Now in part one of this blog series, I did say I would talk about the police view of things so I am about to play devils advocate for a quick minute. At the end of the day, when you take the uniform, badge, and car away from the police, they are still people at the end of the day.These people are somebodies son or daughter and they may have a family to come home to at the end of their shift. Being a police officer is one of the hardest/dangerous jobs out their, and it does take a toll on you. At the end of the day, we all are humans and mistakes do happen. Are they as big as killing someone? No, but until we put ourselves not only in their shoes and in these situations we cannot say what we would do in the heat of the moment.

With all that being said, with these two post about the killings of unarmed black people by officers of the law, I will ask again; What is the solution to this serious problem? Like I stated in the previous post, I don't have the answer. One the other, someone did come up with a few solutions that can actually them work. Back in November while I was listening to The Breakfast Club, Charlamagne Tha God offered some solutions to this problem. One thing he suggested was retraining cops and better training them as well. He suggested that there should be a better screening process to see who can become cops. He also suggested that cops need to hold other cops reliable for the actions that they do. The last suggestion he made would make the most change in my option. He suggested that we need more black cops. Instead of saying fuck the police, we need to encourage people to join the force. Instead of teaching our kids to be afraid of the cops and not to trust them, we should encourage them to think about being a cop when they grow up. The best way to change the system is from within.

Can this issue be solved? Yes it can. When will the change come? Eventually, but I don't see it coming anytime soon. To be honest, this issue has been around for hundreds of years, and I don't see the resolution coming in my generation. It may come, but for true change to come, we need to stop seeing people for their jobs and race, and start truly looking at folks as humans. No matter who we are, our background, or how we look, we all are humans and we all are the same on the inside. In the bigger picture, what we think divides us should actually bring us together. Well I hope this two part series have inspire someone to start the change that the world really needs. That is all for now but as always: Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit. 

Tragically in America Part 1: The new 3/5 of a person rule?

Well ladies and germs, here we are once again. Now for the whole month of November i did not post a blog, and while I was gone some major events happened in the land of the free and home of the brave. If you haven't been living under a rock, then you should know what I am talking about. In November, two high profile cases made the same verdict in the respected cases.  In the cases of Michael Brown, the 18 year old that was shot and killed by a police  and Eric Garner, the 43 year old who died after police applied an illegal choke hold on him, both cops in the matter at hand were not indicted on charges after both cases were brought before the grand jury. Then on top of that. both decisions were announced within 8 days. Originally, I was just going to voice out my anger about this and let that be that. After some time and some thinking, I have came up with a another side to these tragic events. So for today's post, I will voice my anger, and disgust with this growing trend of black man getting killed by the police. On another post, I will put these situation into another prospective.

Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened. This has been a recurring thing throughout the history of America. Before the cases of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, you have the case of Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old black teenager who was gunned down for "looking suspicious" while walking home from the neighborhood 7/11 back in 2012. you have John Crawford III, a 22 year old who was gunned down by police because they thought the bebe gun he held in his hands was a real gun. You have Oscar Grant, a 22 year old who was shot by the police while his hands were handcuffed behind his back on New Years day back in 2009. Then you have Sean Bell, a 23 year old black male who was killed when the police shot 50 bullets at his  car the night before he was supped to be married. I could go on and on naming black lives that were cut short back the police for no reason at all.

Now after reading this post thus far, you may be wondering how does this tie into the title of this post. Well in cases you didn't know, 3/5 of a person refers to how blacks were represented during the time of slavery.  As we all know, blacks were not treated well at all during slavery. They were treated and considered just property to their masters and most of America during this time. Now when it came down for taxes and counting people to determine the number of representatives for each state, the south wanted to include the slaves in this count while the north wanted to exclude the slaves from the count. After much debate, the north and the South came to a compromise that would allow the southern state to count every three slaves as one person for representation, thus beginning the Three/fifths compromise.

Okay after that brief history lesson, you are probably wondering what that has to these killings of black people by the police. Well after the verdict of the Eric Garner case, I started to think about how many people get indicted on killing black people. After doing some research, and believe I took me a while, I actually found a few times in which people were indicted and/or faced jail time for the killing of black people. While there are times where justice is served, the number of times people have got off free sadly outweighs the number of people who get off for these actions. When I did my research on the topic, I did find about 4 to 5 cases in which a person was indicted on charges of killing a person. While that is all good and stuff, that numbers doesn't even compare to the dozens of case that I saw in which nothing happened at all. To me, it seems like for every one case that gets an indicted for a wrongly killing of a black person, it is about 12 other cases in which the killer gets away with no repercussions.

With all of that being said, what is the solution to this problem? Well to be honest, I don't know. As I was growing up, my mother would tell me to keep my nose clean so I won't be placed in bad situations. Nowadays, that rule does not apply. You can be doing nothing wrong/minding your own business and still be killed by the police for no just case. After the whole Eric Garner verdict was broadcast to the masses, the President would hold a press conference about the situation and would suggest police wear body cameras. While that is a good idea in theory, what good will that do when the killing of Eric Garner was  caught on tape and nothing happened? To be honest, there is a solution to this problem somewhere but I just don't see it.

I not one to just give up because I know things will get better. If not for me, then things will be better for my baby cousins, my nephews/nieces, and my future offspring. I hope and pray that they will not experience the things and have the fears that most if not all black people face in today's times. I don't know about the rest of the world, but if it doesn't want to change then I will be the means in which positive change shall come. In closing, I will just say pray for better days, and don't let these deaths mean nothing. Let their lives be the venue in which change occurs.

An epic weekend in Atlanta: 26 Born day Edition

Ladies and germs....what does it do??? Now I know been away from this blogging thing for a while, and a lot of things have taken place on the blue rock that we call earth. I will address those things in a later post but for today's read, I will share will you, the readers, about the events that happened about two weekends for my born day. It was truly one for the record books that I will never forget anytime soon. So on that note, lets get on with the post.

THURSDAY
So my actual born day was two weeks ago on Thursday, but I wanted to celebrate it for the whole weekend. What better place to bring it in than the capital of the south aka Atlanta, GA? I have everything planed for that weekend so the only thing left to do was to get the rental car. I go to Enterprise to pick up the rental and I get stuck with a Chevy spark. Now for those who don't know, a spark is basically a really small car. Keep in mind that I am 6'3, round 244, and wear a size 15 in shoes. My big behind had no business in that car. It was so small that I let the seat all the way back and my knees were hitting the steering wheel. The struggle was way too real for a young king like myself. So after a phone call, I got everything fixed. Now before the new rental car, I went to IHOP with my mom for my born day breakfast. Everything was going good. I got my eat on and I was almost out of the door until my mom told the them it was my born day. Of course, they came around me and sang happy born day to me. After it was said and done, I trade in that small spark for a grown my dodge charger. After loading up the car, I was on my way to the A.

After a good two hour drive, I finally arrived at the aquarium. Now since it was my born day, I got in for free. When I got inside, The kid that lives within me was in full affect. I have never since something as amazing as this before. I went into the different displays and saw all types of marine animals. The one that had me in awe were the whale sharks. To describe how big they are would not do them justice. It just one of those things you just have to see. Despite whole big they are, they swam so gracefully in the water. Some other animals I saw were sharks, otters, sting rays, bottom nose dolphins, and an albino alligator. After spending a some time in the aquarium, unfortunately, it was time to go. Before I headed to the car, I grabbed a bit to eat, paid for parking, and then headed to Lenox square.

On may way there, I ran into that awful Atlanta traffic. It took me close to a hour to get to the mall. I braved traffic, and finally walked into the mall. Now when I got in there, i got lost since it was only my fourth time in there. Once I find a map, I stopped by urban outfitters and hanged with my amiga for a while. We caught up, helped me pick out a shirt to buy, and then it was time to part ways....for now.After I left, I was on way to my friends place, but there was just one problem: My phone kept dying on me. Lucky enough, I found a Starbucks and charged my phone just enough to get on the road. At about 10 pm, I arrived at my friends place, caught up with them, and got my drank. After it was all said  and done, it was time to hit the day to prepare for the next day.

FRIDAY
Friday comes along, and of course I am still bring in my born day. On this night, I had a little get together but before we get into this, we have to talk about what happened before to the party. I get up, grab something to get, and then start drinking. I mean why not, it was happy hour somewhere in the world. Around 2, my friends and i decided to got my favorite pizza place in Atlanta. No normally that would have been a 20 minute drive but because the interstate was backed up, we decided to that the back way which ended up being close to a 40 minute drive. After we arrived, we ordered a pitch or beer, a pizza, and some wings. since it was my born day, I got a free shot on the house. after that, we head to a party store to pick up some supplies for the party, the liquor store to get some beer, and then we went to see my homies at work. After it was all said and done, we got back to the crib around 6:30.

So before the party started, me and my friend deiced play beer pong to kill some time. Big mistake on my part since I suck at that game. By the time the game was over, I have drunk about three cans of beer and i started to feel drunk. Keep in mind that I had been drinking all day. To get sober, I drunk a little over a gallon of water, and ate some crackers. I stayed using the bathroom for the next hour and a half. After a game of phase 10, I got sober just in time because folks started arriving to the party.

During the party, of course there was a lot of drinking involved. I mean what kind of part would it be without drinking. During the course of this party, I was drinking, I was drinking. I mostly had beer with a few shots of vodka. I was feeling nice. We were playing all types of drinking games, and the music was banging. Everything was going good until i made the foolish choice of taking two shots of Henny during true of dare. From there, things went down here for me. After the party was over, i slicked passed out. After waking up, I headed straight to the bathroom in which I proceed to throw up. It felt like i was throwing up my soul. While i was throwing up, I kept thinking "why did i put all this poison in my body?" Lucky for me, I felt better and then passed out on the couch for the remainder of the night.

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

Basically, Saturday and Sunday were basically the same day in this epic weekend Besides one or two differences, I did the exact same thing on both days, but they both were amazing. On Saturday, I woke up from my liquor induced coma with no hangover. Yay me. After drinking some water, I started to look for something to eat. Lucky I had the mind set to get some waffle house the night before. While I am eating that, everyone starts to wake up and begin to eat as well. Throughout the whole day, all we did was look at YouTube videos, eat, and talk about  different topics. Around 11, we went out to wet willies and meet up with some folks we went to school with.After we left there, we went to the grocery store, watched some Netflix, and then went to sleep around 3.

Sunday morning, we all woke up slowly one by one. We started off by watch Dexter on Netflix. After about two episodes, everyone went back to sleep. When everyone got up for good, we basically chillaxed the whole day. We finished up season three of American Horror Story, and then got something to eat. After about 2 hours of looking at YouTube videos, we picked up our friend from work. Then about 10 minues later, I got on the road, and headed back to my city.

All in all, I had an amazing weekend. it was truly one for the record books. If someone were to ask me what was the best part of that weekend, I would have to say spending time with my friends. Don't get me now, all the other things I did that weekend was EPIC!!! I had an amazing time, but being around my friends truly made my weekend special. I don't get to see them everyday so when I do see them, it always special and never a dull moment with them. Well folks I think that wraps up this post. As always, life, be great, do dope shit.

What if......

So today marks seven years  to the day that something  happend to me. On this every day, 10-30-207 on a tuesday afternoon,  I met someone  who would life a very lasting impact on my  life.  Now if you have read my previous  post, you know who am referring  to. For those who haven't,  read Nothing  Was The Same. In a nutshell,  I  met someone  special  that day who at the time was nothing but a perfect stranger,  but as time went and passed, she would evolve  from a friend to a person who  means the world to me. Since I  did my last post about  her, has anything  changed.? Did I tell her exactly  how i feel about her? The  answer  to those questions  is no.

The reasons why  is that i still don't  know how to tell her, I didn't where she stayed at, and i knew she was happy.  Well since then, I  have  found  out that she still lives in Atlanta and after talking  to friends, I  came to the conclusion  that I  could  make her happy  as well. Even though all of the advice,  I still haven't said nothing  to her. Part of the reason i haven't  said nothing  is my feelings  for her go on and off , but they stay on must of the time. The other reason  is i honestly  don't  know  what will happen.  As the day has went on, I have been living in the world  of  "what if" about this situation.  "What if".....a world I strongly  recommend  no one pays a vist to.

WHAT IF.....
What if the reason we met that day was for a reason?
What if i had realized  my feelings  for her earlier?
What  if i told her how i feel? 
What if she has/hade the same feels for me as I do her?
What  if we become  a couple?
What if we are  meant  to be/soul mates?
What if all this is happening  to  draw  us together  down  the  line? 
What if we had done this from the start and not wasted  so much time?
Last but not least. ...What  if we are not meant to be?

To be honest, I will probably  never  know the answe to some of these "What ifs" since the  answer to them only  lie in the past. I can speculate  on them as much as I  want, but at the end of the day it wouldn't  change a thing. All I focus  on  is the here and now and the facts.  The facts are; we met 7 years ago, we haven't  seen each other in 6 years, and we haven't  spoken  in a out a year. The facts are that alot of things can happen  during of all of this  time. I know i am definitely  not the same  person I  was back in 2007 and I  know she is not either. If we were to meet, I don't  know if i would  feel  have the same feelings  for the
2014 versions like i do for the 2007 version.

At the end of the day, I can completely  change this whole situation by being up front and just tell her the truth. Tell her how much she means to me. Tell her that I truly miss her. Tell her that i just want her to be happy.  In a nutshell, l can tell her all the things i should  have  told her from the start. After that, the rest is up to her. She can either take accept  my feelings  and return  them, she could  reject them, or she could put me in the infamous "friend zone" area. Anything  would be better than living in a world of "what if". Eventually, I will man up and tell her everything  one of these days and I can move on with my lif3, whether  for better or worse from the  situation.  Hopefully  next year, I won't be writing again about telling her my fellings.  Well folks  that  is all for now.  I usually  say live, be great,  and do dope shit at the  end  of  my post but for this one, I will end it by saying live your truth  no matter  what it maybe.

Current Mood: BLAH

I don't know what is going on, but lately I haven't been feeling like my usually, awesome self. One my say that I am in a runt. I don't know when this actually began, but one day I just felt nothing. I didn't feel happy, sad, or anything in between. It's like all my emotions have left the building, and I am just a empty, soulless, shell of my former self. It seems like all my creative juices, and awesome vibes have been replaced with just working all the time. In a nutshell, you can say that I Have become a cooperate robot....*Plays horror music*

Now to be fair, I can not blame my current issue on just my job. Everyone has to work in order to do just about anything. I see plenty of my friends working, but still find the time/energy to have fun and enjoy life. Some find time to travel, some find time to party, hell some even find time to start up their own businesses. If everyone else is doing such awesome things, then why can't I do the same as well? To be honest, I don't know.

If I am to be completely honest with myself, I am doing the one thing I am tell people not to do: just exist. I truly not living life to the fullest. In fact, it really feels like I am just settling. Settling with having a job that pays less than $8 a hour. Settling for still being in my hometown while just about everyone i know from her has left and started a new phase in their lives. Settling for living at home with my family. Last but not least, settling for the fact that my dreams, goals, and ideas or just too unrealistic to come true. Boy, when did I turn into a lame version of myself???

What can be down to get my groove back? To be honest, the answer is so simple. Basically I need to do three things. The first thing is to get back to what made me who I am/was in the beginning. That means getting back to my art, getting back to discovering new and exciting music, getting back to writing, and getting back to following my dreams and making them a reality. Basically, I need to reignite, and follow my passion. The second thing is I need to move. I am believe your environment has a huge factor in the energy have. Lately, my current surrounds have not been sparking the creative energy that lies within me. Every time I leave and go out of town of the other hand, I feel inspired once again the the mojo comes back in full force. Last but certainly not least, I have to trust and have faith in the plan that God has for me. Everything happens for a reason, and I do believe all of this is a part of a bigger picture. I believe that for to do what God has planned for me, I have to go through all of this to become a strong and better person than I am currently. The good book say that God will not put more on than you care bear.

In summary, am I a slump right now? Yes I am. Will things get better? Eventually, I don't know when.  In reality, all I truly know is this is happening for a reason. What that reason is I have the slightest idea. Whatever the reason is, I hope that will be able to see it, and learn from the experience. All in all, while things may not be ideal in my life right now, things could be way worse. I won't complain about how things are right. I just going to embrace this phase in my life, learn from it, and my the necessary changes to it. Sooner or later, I will return to my awesome self once again. As chance the rapper say in Good Ass Intro, "Even better than i was the last time baby ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh I'm good." Well folks, that is it for now. Until next time...Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit.

One for the record books

Ladies and germs, once again I am here to say some things and hopefully y'all will read it. If you read it, I appreciate it. If you don't read, whatever. Now usually I have a topic that I write about that can be talked about on a broader term,and sometimes I write about something that has happened in my life. Well folks, in today's edition I will be writing about a personal event that recently taken place. Now if you follow me on the gram, the book of many faces, or twitter, then you already know what I am talking about. For those of you who don't, well I am talking about one of the best experiences I have had thus far in 2014. I am talking about none other than the best concert of the year.....Outkast At Last.

Now before I go into details about this amazing event, lets back track to how this all started. So on a random weekday on a hot June day, I was chillaxing as usual and looking through the different social media networks that I am apart of. At this point, I am on the gram when all of a sudden I see a post about an Outkast concert that was taking place in Atlanta in September. Before I got all hyped about what I just saw, I had to reread what i just saw. Outkast....having a concert....near me.....in a few months.....needless to say a young king like myself made it my personal mission to be at this concert.

 A few days later, they revealed when the tickets would go on sell, and it just so happen that day would fall on a day I did not have to work. It seemed as the universe was telling me to go to this event. They also revealed who would be their opening act for that day who just so happen to be two of my favorite artist; Kid Cudi and Childish Gambino.The tickets were going on sell at 10 in the am, and I was determined to go to this concert. I went to be bed early so I could get up and buy a ticket. In the back of my mind I knew would be at this show. Boy was i mistaken......soft of.

Its the day when the tickets go on sell. I get up at 9:30 am, and I am pump to get my ticket. For once reason or another, I end up falling back asleep and waking back up at 10:45 am. To say I was in panic mode would be an understatement. As soon as I got on the Ticketmaster website and tried to buy a ticket, the message SOLD OUT appeared before my eyes. As the words set in, I was truly depressed my one chance to witness the best concert of possibly all time was out the window....or so I thought. It was after reveled that Outkast would be selling tickets for a second show at 2 pm.There was no way I was going to miss this show. When the time came, I had my phone, laptop, and tablet on the website because there was no way on Gods green earth was going i going to miss this chance. So after a hour and 15 minutes, I finally got the all sought after golden egg known as an Outkast concert. 

Fast forward to three months later, it is the day before the concert and I am so ready for it. I have the next four days off so I can truly enjoy the weekend and all that it has in store. I get up and go get my rental car for the trip. I went and got my work out on, then around 1:30 I load up the car and got on the road to Atlanta. About a hour and a half later, I get in Atlanta and then link up with my family. They were in the process of helping my cousin move so I decided to help out. What I thought would be a quick way to kill some time turned out to be about a five hour moving session, but I didn't mind since that is my family. After that, I had to Stone Mountain to hang with my college friends. While I was there, I got my eat on, played some games, and got my drank on. Needless to say after the drinks I was in no condition to drive to the place I was going to crash at for the weekend. So I end up crashing at my friend's house that night. The next day, I wake up with liquor still in my system but after getting some food in my gut, I was back to normal. After a few hours, I got in the shower and then got on the road, heading to Outkast concert.

Now after getting lost a few times in downtown Atlanta, I finally get to my destination. Its about 3:30 pm and there is a line of people that are waiting to get into the venue. After a few minutes, they begin to let us in. As I walked in, the first thing I noticed all the tents that were set up in the park. Then as I walked farther along, I finally saw the stage in which I would witness a performance of a lifetime. Near the stage, they had three screens. On one of the screens, it displayed what time each act was supposed to preform. First up would be Janelle Monae, followed by Future, 2 Chainz, and last but not least Outkast. The first performance wasn't to start until 5, so I walk around searching for something to eat there. As I looked around, I saw that they have pizza, hot dogs, fries, fish and chicken among other stuff. Then they had water, soda, beer, and wine there as well. One thing I notice was the price of everything was high as hell. I mean $9 for one beer??? The fuck??? Nonetheless, I end of up getting my eat on then about an hour later, the show began.

It is 5:20 pm and no one has hit the stage yet. All of a sudden, this dude comes on the stage and starts rapping. Apparently he is a local rapper because the crowd, mostly made up of locals, knew all the words to his songs. This lasted a good 15 minutes and then the real opening acts came up to perform. Each act did their own thing differently, but gave the show a ton of energy. The first person up was Janelle Monae. That is one beautiful woman. She performed songs from both of her albums. There are three things that made her performance amazing. One was she had a live band. When she performed Prime Time and the guitar solo came up, it was just magic. The second thing was that she had fun, and you could tell. She was dancing, acting randomly, and playing around. She even jumped into the crowd for a few minutes. The third thing is the connection to the crowd. You could tell that the energy she was receiving from the crowd was given back to us in tenfold. After she got done, the  DJ played a few records while the next artist got ready to hit the stage. So about 5:45, Future came on the stage. He got the crowd hyped up or "turnt up" as he would say. He performed songs from his mixtapes and albums The one song that he didn't performed that I was looking forward to was Tony Montana. He was on stage for about an hour then the DJ start playing some more records. About 7:20, 2 Chainz aka that artist formally known as Titty Boy came on the stage. Now I not the biggest fan of his so I really did not get into this segment of the concert. He preformed songs that he was the star of as well as song that he is featured on, which is a lot. During his performance, he brought his kid on stage and they seemed to have a good time together. After his last song, he thanked the crowd and exited stage left. All that was left was for Outkast to hit the stage. After the DJ played more records and teased the crowd, Outkast had finally hit the stage.

When they hit the stage, it was about 9:30 in the pm. Big Boi represented Atlanta with the Braves jacket that he had on. Andre 3000 had on a black jumpsuit with a red price tag hanging on the side. He also was rocking a blonde wig and some white shades. As soon as they stepped on the stage, the crowd went wild. OUTKAST!!! OUTKAST!!! OUTKAST!!! OUTKAST!!! That chant went on for about 3 minutes and then they started to perform. They perform songs for all of their albums. They rocked the crowd with those hits, and the crowd were singing the lyrics word for word. Some of the songs they performed together was Rosa Parks, B.O.B,Git Up Git Sum, So Fresh So Clean, SpottieottieDopelicious, and the Whole World just to name a few. During their performance, they brought out Sleepy Brown, Bun B, and Big Gipp from Goodie Mob. About half way into their set, they separated to preform their own songs.First up was Big Boi. He preformed Kryptonite,The Way You Move, and Ghetto Muisck just to name a few. Next up was Andree 3000, and he performed Prototype, Hey Ya, and a few other songs. While he performed He Ya, he brought a few females from the crowd and they were dancing to the song. They would get back to perform a few more songs together. Towards the end of the show, the introduced their band, and the back up singers. After one more song, the show had ended, They had performed one encore, but I didn't stay to listen to it. The park was packed, and a young king was not trying to get stuck in the park, downtown Atlanta, and/or in that traffic.

All in all, I had an amazing time at this concert. It was everything that I expected and more.The music was great, the energy was amazing, and the crowd was crazy. This is probably the best concert they I have been to in my 25 years of living. I will have memories that will stay with me for a life time and then some. Hell if I ever have kids, I will most certainty tell them about the time that I almost didn't see Outkast performed, but had an amazing time at their concert. Well folks, once again it has come to the part where I end another post. Thank you for reading this and as always.....Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit.

366 days and counting

Well folks, it has officially been a year and day since I began the current chapter of my life; working at Dixie road express. Now I bet yall wondering exactly what I do over there or what is it. Well, basically I'm working at a gas station "shopette" on an army base in Fort Beginning, GA. Now through out this year, I been going through the ups and downs with this job. At first it was alright to work there, but now I just ready to quit. To understand how I gotten to this point we have to start at the beginning.   
 
Let's rewind back to January of 2013. A young king like myself was a newly college graduate.  I was on top of the world at this point.  I believed that I could get any job that I put in for in a heartbeat. Boy was I wrong. At first, I was just applying at jobs that were paying a good amount.  I figured that I would land one of these jobs with no problem.  Unfortunately that was not the case.  After a few months of getting rejected from these "good jobs", I started applying anywhere.  I applied at grocery stores, fast food places, clothing stores, and basically anywhere else you can think of. You would think that one of these places would have hired me, but no.

One rejection that stands out to me is the one I got from Target. I had a phone interview with the manager and I told everything was going great. In the back of my mind, I knew that I had finally landed a job. Again I was wrong.  After the interview,  the person who was conducting the interview told me that not only did I not get the job, I was not qualify enough for the position.  Not qualify???? How hard is it to be a store associate? Even if I didn't know certain things, I would learn them since they would have to train me. Apparently, Target did not share the same mind set as me.

After months upon months of getting rejected, I honestly gave up on the fact that I would get a job. At this point, I got rejected either because I had a degree or I didn't have enough experience.  It seem like all my friends were landing jobs and I was just doing nothing with my life. My family and friends would tell me that you will get a job eventually. It seem that my eventually was taking forever to get her. All of that would change one faithful Tuesday afternoon.

One random Tuesday on a hot summer day in June, I get a call from my dad talking about a possible job opportunity.  He gave me the number to one of his friends, and after talking to her I went on to apply for the job. About a month and a half later,  I got a call for an interview for the job I had applied for. I went to the interview,  killed it, and got the job. Finally after months of apply, hoping, and get rejected, I finally landed a job. 

Now since I been working there, my experience there has definitely had its ups and downs. When I first got there, everything was good. I was glad to be working, learning new things,  and earing some money.  About 4 to 6 months in. I definitely wanted to quit.  The reason why was I wasn't happy with the job anymore,  I wasn't making much money, I was bored,  and it felt like the job was draining my soul. Then after may of this year, there have been times that if it wasn't for my mom answering my calls while I was on break, I would have definitely quit. Besides the reasons I mentioned earlier,  I wasn't getting along with the new manager *still not by the way*, and to be honest,  I just didn't care anymore.  I didn't care if was late coming to work,  I didn't care if I got in trouble,  I just didn't care about the job at all. Quiting/getting fired would not have been the worst thing to happen.  Over time, I have started to care again, but not that much.  I just in the mind frame of just keep quiet, do what you are told, and leave.

My first official day of working for the company was August 13th and I have been there ever since.  If you would have told me I would be working here for over a year ehen I started, I would have laughed and just say ok if you say so. During my time here, I have seen people come and people go. In fact, there are only 6 people who have been there longer than me. All my other coworkers have left for mostly the same reasons that I have given. I have had plenty of ups and downs with this job. There has definitely been some interesting things happened there as well. The one thing that I am most thankful for is meeting some of the people there. I consider them my good friend.

With all of this said, I am so ready for a new job. I believe I have learned all I can from this job, and with more bills and these student loans piling up, a young king definitely needs some better. Even though I have been rejected by jobs and it seems like history is repeating itself,  I am not worried.  If it took me a long time to get this current job, then I know that something will come along eventually.  As my mom always ssy, I will get a better job when I least expect it. I just gotta keep faith and keep putting in eork, and that is what I plan on doing. Well folks,  that's all for now.  As always,  live, be great,  and do dope shit.

The day the world became less funny

I had just gotten home after a long and hard day at work. First thing I do, as always  is say hello to the family, eat dinner, and change clothes.  After I do all of that, I usually get on my phone and see what people are talking about on the social sites. As I scroll down my time line on Instagram, I saw news that really shook my soul and hurt my heart.  On my time line, people were given their condones to an actor/comedian who was found dead in his home. This person has brought a lot of joy and laughs to the heart's of millions. This person that I am talking about is Robin Williams.

Now at first, I did not believe it because someone is always getting killed of via social media every week. I need actual proof that this great man had left this plane of existence.  As I went on the Internet to confirm this information, deep down I hoped that this was just a hoax. I hope that Robin would make a joke about this mistake. Sadly,  this would not happened.  As soon as I googled his name, two distinct headlines popped up. The first one was that Robin Williams had died.  The second one was that he had died from apparent suicide.

Why would a man who brought such much joy and happiness into people's lives decide to just end his own life? As the hours went by, the answer to that question would be revealed.  According to his publist, he was suffering from serve depression lately. As other news sources would reveal his long battle with depression and his struggle with drugs, it just caught me off guard.  I would have never thought some one who was has wonderful as him would be battling with such tough demons. As i proceesed all of this information, it saddened me that he felt so down that he found death as his only solution. It also makes me sad that he felt like he couldn't tell someone about what he was dealing with.

It has been 24 since thus news has broke,  and to be honest I am still hurt and sad about his passing. I think i have seen just about every special tv has been shown about him. This man was a huge part of my childhood. He played in so many movies that I watched as a kid. These movies brought me laugher and joy, and left fund memories of an exciting time in my life. Even as I write this piost, I can't help but to think of some of my favorite childhood movies such as Hook, Addlian, Jack, Ms. Doubtfire, and countless other movies. This man not only touch my life, but countless others as well.

As I close this post, I will leave on two notes. Robin Williams was a great person who brought great joy, laughter, and happiness while he was on this earth. His legacy will be never be forgotten, and the he made us feel will remain with us for life. The other thing is it is OK to get help if you need it. No matter how bad things are going, it will get better and suicide is not the answer.  If you are going through something or know someone who is, then talk to someone and/or get help. The world would be a really dim place without your light so don't blow it out. Once again, rest in paradise Robin Williams.  You will surely be missed,  but definitely never forgotten.

Three things to live by

Well once again,  we have another addition of Life and Times of an Extraordinary Original.  Now for this post, I will talk about something that I always say in all of my post; Live, be great, and do dope shit. Now in an earlier post I did touch on this subject, but for some reason I feel the need to talk about this again. Could I say the same thing all over again? Well that is a strong possibility, but if someone learns from this then so be it. Each thing has its own meaning/value, but it all adds up to one thing in the end : HAPPINESS.

Live
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde
From the time you are born, you have a life. Depending on certain things, you can either have a short life or a long life. Rather you are alive for 8 years or 70 years, you can either live or merely exist.

To exist is to do just that, exist. You don't do nothing worth anything. You just go along with the status quo, play it safe, and basically all you are doing is living in the background. You may have dreams/goals that you want to achieve but you don't try to go after them because you are afraid to fail. You just let you dreams die and you live in the world of shoulda, woulda, coulda.
To live is one of the bravest things to do. There's a reason why people say everyone dies but everyone lives. To live means to step out of your comfort zone. To live means to doing what you love. To live means to step out out of the norm. To live, in a nutshell, means to do exactly what you want to do, no matter what other's say.

If I had to give an example of living vs existing, I will use this example. A person is working a normal 9 to 5. The job pays the bills and is a OK job, but this person doesn't like the job. The person has a dream/passion that burns within them that they want to go after and make come true. The person who just exist will not go after their dream, continue to work at their job that they don't like,  and one day say "I wish I would have." The person who lives will go after their dreams. They will be willing to do any and everything to make this dream in a reality.  It make take the person months or years to may their dreams come to. Hell the person may even fail but at least the person has tried and didn't let themselves fall by the waste side.

Be Great
"Success comes in can, not can't" - Unknown
What does be great mean? It means whatever you do, be great at it. It also means to be the best version of yourself. Each person has a something that they are good at. Whatever that may be, be the greatest at it. Don't let nothing or anyone stop you from being great  Each day as a new chance to do something that will improve your life or someone else life.

Every person has the potential for greatness within themselves, yet few people live up to their greatness. Why is that?  Well one of the biggest things that stop people from being great is fear. Whether it be the fear of failing or the fear of rejection, fear will cause a person with God given talent to just settle for less. In order to become great, the first thing you have to overcome is fear. Once you overcome that, you can truly start being great. Most people see fear as a sign to give up. I believe otherwise.  A wise person once said "If nothing never scares you, then you are not dreaming big enough." Don't see fear as a sign to give up. See fear as a sign that you are on the right path.

Another thing that stop being from being great is what people say. A person may have a goal that can come true, but because of what people may say they give up before they even begin. You going to hear people say things like that is a dumb idea, I hope you have a back up plan just in case, or I wouldn't do that if I was you. No matter what you do in life, there will be at least one person that will try to say something that will make you want to give up. I here to say don't do it. Continue to follow that dream that you see, and prove everybody wrong.  Success is the not only the best revenge,  but it also the best way to prove the naysayers wrong.

Do Dope Shit
"Life is what you make it" - Unknown
Each day that you are on this plane of existence is a new change for you to do something amazing. With the amount of time you have in a day, you can do something dope. Now what is considered dope various from each person. What I consider dope is doing something new, being yourself, doing exactly what you love to do, etc.  Doing something dope can be as simple as going to the park to enough the weather or something complex like starting up your own business. Whatever you choose to do, the most important thing is to enjoy it. Life is unpredictable. One minute you are here, the next minute you gone. While you are still, why not do something worth remembering.

At the end of it all, these three values are add up to one thing: HAPPINESS. No matter who you are, every body wants to be happy.  There's no drawn out path for happiness.  Some people will spend their whole life trying to find happiness. Now I am not saying this is a sure fire way to be happy. Each person has their own way to be be happy. I just suggesting a possible way for for something to find true happiness.  If I can help someone find what makes them help, then this post has done something worth wild. That will bring a form happiness to me. Well people, that is all for told. Just like this post say, live, be great, do dope shit.

Pretty vs Beauty

Ladies and germs, here we are once again. By now, yall should know that these topics for my post are totally random. I don't sit down, and think about what I going to talk about.  This ideas just going to me, and this topic is no different.  As I was on the gram *instagram for those who didn't know* I was looking at some random pictures.  As I looked on, I saw some pictures of different females. When I looked at the photos, I saw that all of the pictures showcased pretty females. I saw a few pictures of female that looked gorgeous. As I continued to few this picture, I noticed that not one picture that I saw was showed a beautiful female. I then began to question what does it mean to be beautiful vs what does it mean to be pretty, and ladies and germs that I what I will try to explain on this post.

What does it mean to be pretty?  Well according to dictionary.com, pretty is defined as "pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness: a pretty face". To be pretty is something from a physical standpoint.  In general, to be pretty you have to only look good. Just by that standard alone, there's a lot of pretty people in the world.  There are people who will pay top dollar to be considered pretty in the world's view. While being pretty is OK, what else will that get you? You can get all the complements in the world for you outward appearence, but what about the inside? You have to process more than looks. I have seen a lot of pretty females in my life, but their attitudes make take away from their appearance. Kanye West once said in All Falls Down "the prettiest people do the ugliest things on the road to richest and diamond rings." Looks will only get you so far in life, and after they fade away what do you have left? Nothing, plain and simple. Now that we have defined pretty,  let's move on to beauty.

What does it mean to have beauty?  Once again, we go to dictionary.com for the definition for this words. Beauty is defined as" the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)." To further go on, beautiful is defined as "having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech." Beauty is subjective. If you ask what makes a person beautiful, you will get a million different responses.  Since I am writing this, I will tell you what I found beautiful in a female.  What makes a female beautiful to me is a number of things. It can be as simple as the way she smiles,her laugh, her eyes, and the way she carries herself. It can be complex as the way she views the world, the conversation that we have, her mind, her personality, and other things. I find one thing that really makes a girl beautiful is if she can stimulate my mind. These things among others are what makes a female beautiful to me.

So after reading all of this, you may be wondering what makes me the expect of pretty vs beauty. Well yo be honest, I am not an expert. I just speaking on the experience that I have had. Like I said earlier, throughout my 25 years on this earth,  I have seen my fair share of pretty females.  After getting to know some of these females, their basic/bad personality overshadowed there looks. After that happened, then they just became a basic female.  When it comes to beauty, I can honestly say that I have met a few females that had a few beautiful qualities,  but I have truly have met only one beautiful female in my life.  She had all the qualities that I have mentioned that makes a female beautiful plus she also had a X Factor to her. I would go on about her but that's not what this post is about.

Once again folks, we have come to the end of another post. I gave yall my opinion on what the difference between being pretty vs being beautiful.  At the end of the day, it is up to each person to define the difference between these two terms. As the old phrases goes, "Beauty is in the eye if the beholder. " Well that is all for this post. As always,  live life, be great,  and do dope shit.