So today marks seven years to the day that something happend to me. On this every day, 10-30-207 on a tuesday afternoon, I met someone who would life a very lasting impact on my life. Now if you have read my previous post, you know who am referring to. For those who haven't, read Nothing Was The Same. In a nutshell, I met someone special that day who at the time was nothing but a perfect stranger, but as time went and passed, she would evolve from a friend to a person who means the world to me. Since I did my last post about her, has anything changed.? Did I tell her exactly how i feel about her? The answer to those questions is no.
The reasons why is that i still don't know how to tell her, I didn't where she stayed at, and i knew she was happy. Well since then, I have found out that she still lives in Atlanta and after talking to friends, I came to the conclusion that I could make her happy as well. Even though all of the advice, I still haven't said nothing to her. Part of the reason i haven't said nothing is my feelings for her go on and off , but they stay on must of the time. The other reason is i honestly don't know what will happen. As the day has went on, I have been living in the world of "what if" about this situation. "What if".....a world I strongly recommend no one pays a vist to.
WHAT IF.....
What if the reason we met that day was for a reason?
What if i had realized my feelings for her earlier?
What if i told her how i feel?
What if she has/hade the same feels for me as I do her?
What if we become a couple?
What if we are meant to be/soul mates?
What if all this is happening to draw us together down the line?
What if we had done this from the start and not wasted so much time?
Last but not least. ...What if we are not meant to be?
To be honest, I will probably never know the answe to some of these "What ifs" since the answer to them only lie in the past. I can speculate on them as much as I want, but at the end of the day it wouldn't change a thing. All I focus on is the here and now and the facts. The facts are; we met 7 years ago, we haven't seen each other in 6 years, and we haven't spoken in a out a year. The facts are that alot of things can happen during of all of this time. I know i am definitely not the same person I was back in 2007 and I know she is not either. If we were to meet, I don't know if i would feel have the same feelings for the
2014 versions like i do for the 2007 version.
At the end of the day, I can completely change this whole situation by being up front and just tell her the truth. Tell her how much she means to me. Tell her that I truly miss her. Tell her that i just want her to be happy. In a nutshell, l can tell her all the things i should have told her from the start. After that, the rest is up to her. She can either take accept my feelings and return them, she could reject them, or she could put me in the infamous "friend zone" area. Anything would be better than living in a world of "what if". Eventually, I will man up and tell her everything one of these days and I can move on with my lif3, whether for better or worse from the situation. Hopefully next year, I won't be writing again about telling her my fellings. Well folks that is all for now. I usually say live, be great, and do dope shit at the end of my post but for this one, I will end it by saying live your truth no matter what it maybe.
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