Moment of Truth: Love Is In The Air???

Well ladies and germs, this weekend has been a very long weekend. As part of my goals for 2015, I set out to do at least one new thing a month that I have never done before. What is the new thing that I did this weekend is what you might be asking yourself right now. Well for the first time ever, I was a groom men at a wedding. Shocking, I know. Now what does being a groom man have to do with the topic of this post? I will explain it all, but first we have to start from the beginning of the whole wedding event.

About the second half of 2014, I just so happened to be on the book of many faces and I saw one of my buddies got engaged. Now you know as soon as I saw this, I instantly call her to get the 411 on the whole situation. Just a few months later, I was at TGIF Fridays with a group of friends, and out of nowhere I see my buddy and I get to meet her fiancee. I introduced myself, and after the brief conversation, he seemed like a cool dude. It wasn't until November that i really got to get to know him, After some food, drinks and laughter, I could tell that he would make my buddy happy.

Around January, I was told when the wedding was going to take place. I was happy to hear that the wedding was right around the corner. Then like two weeks later, my buddy hits me up, and ask me to be a grooms man in her wedding. At first I was like "What exactly does a grooms man do?" After that thought passed my mind, I instantly said yes. After a fitting for a tux, the countdown to the wedding was officially on. After a few weeks, the wedding was just 48 hours away.

After reading this thus far, you may be wondering what all of this has do with the topic of the blog. Well I am getting to it. It's the Friday before the wedding, and on that day I got to meet all the people who were going to be in the wedding. After the rehearsal we all went out to dinner. Around 9:30, the females went there way and the guys went there way. After meeting up with the fellas, we just drunk a few brews, watched TV, and just talked. The talking was the best part to me. The groom and the best man started talking about their ladies and how much they loved them. They also seems sad that they could not be around them. For me being a single guy, it was interesting to see guys talk about love like this. For what I was gathering from the convo, it seems like love had changed them for the better and their lives would not be the same without the ladies that they loved. That got me to thinking for a quick second about love.

Its the day of the wedding, and I am looking fresh to death in my tux. Now we had two hours before the big event so the guys was doing anything that the groom need us to do. We could tell that he was ready to get the show on the road to marry his lady. About 30 minutes before showtime, the groom recorded a message for my buddy. Basically, the message said how much he loved her, he was happy to be marrying her, and he couldn't wait to start their lives together. Once again, I begin to think about love.

So now it is show time. As the music begins to play, I walk the beautiful bride maid down the aisle and the only thing I could think of is "DO NOT TRIP, DO NOT FALL." After everybody is in their place, the bride aka my buddy walks down and you could see tears start to form in the eyes of the groom. As the pastor was unity the two into one, I kept on thinking about love and the role it plays in my life. I wondered if finding love was in the cards for me. After they said their I do's, we took pictures and had the reception. Doing the reception, the newlyweds engaged their vows, and doing the process both of them got chocked up said their vows. They even shed tears doing the process. Then the best men and the maid of honor gave their toast to the couple, and wished them the best. Once again I thought about love.

With all the being said, what is the point of all of this? Well one could say that seeing this example of love has made me question my thoughts on the topic. For the most part, I have seen love as just an option, something people do when they get lonely. I have really only felt love for only one person in my 26 years of living. After that did not go as I thought it would, I gave up on love. I thought that, and sometimes still do, that I just meant to be alone. After this past weekend, I might have had a change of heart. Seeing people who really love each has sparked a side of me that I thought was long gone. The idea of sharing your life with the love of your life is not such a bad thing. Finding someone who helps you to better yourself and completes you is not such a bad thing. Most importantly, love in its truest form is not such a bad thing.

After all of that, will I be the next one to get married? HELL NO!!!! Will I jump into a relationship anything soon? Probably not. To be honest, I more than likely remain the same when it comes to any aspects of love. It's not that I'm not ready to be in a relationship, I just bidding my time and just waiting for the right woman to come around. Hell I have probably have already met the person and just haven't realized it. Who knows? Maybe sometime this year, I will be writing about how I found the love of my life. All in all, this weekend has had an impact on my life that i am truly grateful for. Well folks, that is all for now. As always; Live. be great, do dope shit.

Moment of Truth; Pursuit of Happeniess

Well for a few months now, I have been debating on rather or not to do a post on this topic. After much thought and consideration, I came up with one conclusion...FUCK IT just do it...which by the way is how most of my choices come around to. I always say that people need to be more transparent these days so I am going to take my own advice and be transparent so here we go.

For a while now, I have been in a funk. I have been seeing all of my friends truly enjoying life, doing new things and truly exploring the world. Me, on the other hand, are not doing anything close to any of these things. I been working the same job for almost two years now with no signs of moving on up, I don't really do anything worth while, and it seems like my creativity is slowly but surely escaping my being. The way I see it is everyone is happy with life and I am just content with my life right now.

When did this happen?? When did I, a young king, become content with having a plain, basic life?? To be honest, I don't have no idea. I used to have dreams, and goals on what I want to do with my life, I used to be full of life, positive energy, joy, and peace. Nowadays, I am the complete opposite of this. Before, I used to be actually happy. Now, I can say that I am just getting by. If I going to be completely honest, I thing the "real world" has finally gotten to me.

Between my job, my location, and the "real world", I can see how my happiness have departed from my being, and you know what....IT SUCKS. I want to be the old me once again aka the true me. I want to have fun. I want to explore the world. I want to live and be apart of the true world, not the "real world" to sum it all up, I want to be happy. Easier said than done.

How will I truly become happy again? After much thought, I came up with the conclusion that I need to forsake this so call "real world" and seek out/and live in the true world. You may be wondering what is the true world? Basically, the true world is what you can not obtain in the "real world". The true world is where people dreams come true, where people can truly become themselves, and where everything money can not buy resides. To obtain this, I feel like I have to do three basic things: leave my current job, move away from my current location, and go after my dreams.

I may be in a funk right now, but I know that I will eventually become my former self once again sooner or later. I can already see some chances that are happening in my life for the better. I just going to take things one day at a time, and see what happens. I just going to do the things that i know will grant my true happiness again. So watch out world, I coming back even better than I was the last time. OK so that is the end of this blog. As always...Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit

Tragic in America Part two: Blue Privilege

In part one of of this two part blog, I'd discussed the verdict of the Michael Brown and Eric Garner case. I talked about how the countless other murders that were similar to these two deaths, how the murders of these people seem to always get off, and how it seems like black people have not escape the rules/terms of the three/fifths compromise. In that post, I was speaking as an angry black person that was fed up with all the injustice that has fallen upon black people. Now for this post, I will look at the other side of the coin in an effort to come to some sort of solution to this problem. There have been a lot of time about white privilege during this whole situation. A lot of people have been throwing around the race card as well. While I am not saying race is not a major factor in the world, I do believe that this is not the only factor in these crimes. Race is just one of many tools to hide the true issue, which in this case just happen to be the police.

Now since I can remember, there have seemed to be a bad relationship between blacks and the police. From what I can tell, the problem seems to be that a good amount of  black people do not trust the police, and a good amount of the police seem to think that black people are always up to no good. Now factor in those to facts and apply them to these cases. In all these cases that I mentioned in my previous blog, the killers just so happened to be the police and the victims were black. When asked why did they use such lethal force, one thing that all the police had in common is that during some point during the altercation the police feared for their lives. Keep in mind that all the victims were unarmed. Now I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but if the person is unarmed then why use deadly force? I am sure that with all of their training and other means to subdue a person, there is no reason at all that these officers had to kill these people and likewise, there is no why the victims are not here with us today. 

Just like all black people are not thugs, gangsters, and drug dealers not all police are not bad/crooked. It just that the ones that are bad gives the perceptive that the rest are the same way and that goes for both sides. The question is why do the police always seem to get off scoot free? It because of blue privilege. You may be wondering what blue privilege is at this point. Blue privilege is special rights that only the police have. They take the oath to protect and uphold the laws of the land but it seems that some feel like they are above the law in a sense. One may say the police pick and chose which laws they chose to follow and enforce. In the cases that I mentioned, they did not give these victims their right to due progress and to be tried by a group of their peers. If we do not honor these rights, then we are no better than the counties that we fight in wars.

Now in part one of this blog series, I did say I would talk about the police view of things so I am about to play devils advocate for a quick minute. At the end of the day, when you take the uniform, badge, and car away from the police, they are still people at the end of the day.These people are somebodies son or daughter and they may have a family to come home to at the end of their shift. Being a police officer is one of the hardest/dangerous jobs out their, and it does take a toll on you. At the end of the day, we all are humans and mistakes do happen. Are they as big as killing someone? No, but until we put ourselves not only in their shoes and in these situations we cannot say what we would do in the heat of the moment.

With all that being said, with these two post about the killings of unarmed black people by officers of the law, I will ask again; What is the solution to this serious problem? Like I stated in the previous post, I don't have the answer. One the other, someone did come up with a few solutions that can actually them work. Back in November while I was listening to The Breakfast Club, Charlamagne Tha God offered some solutions to this problem. One thing he suggested was retraining cops and better training them as well. He suggested that there should be a better screening process to see who can become cops. He also suggested that cops need to hold other cops reliable for the actions that they do. The last suggestion he made would make the most change in my option. He suggested that we need more black cops. Instead of saying fuck the police, we need to encourage people to join the force. Instead of teaching our kids to be afraid of the cops and not to trust them, we should encourage them to think about being a cop when they grow up. The best way to change the system is from within.

Can this issue be solved? Yes it can. When will the change come? Eventually, but I don't see it coming anytime soon. To be honest, this issue has been around for hundreds of years, and I don't see the resolution coming in my generation. It may come, but for true change to come, we need to stop seeing people for their jobs and race, and start truly looking at folks as humans. No matter who we are, our background, or how we look, we all are humans and we all are the same on the inside. In the bigger picture, what we think divides us should actually bring us together. Well I hope this two part series have inspire someone to start the change that the world really needs. That is all for now but as always: Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit. 

Tragically in America Part 1: The new 3/5 of a person rule?

Well ladies and germs, here we are once again. Now for the whole month of November i did not post a blog, and while I was gone some major events happened in the land of the free and home of the brave. If you haven't been living under a rock, then you should know what I am talking about. In November, two high profile cases made the same verdict in the respected cases.  In the cases of Michael Brown, the 18 year old that was shot and killed by a police  and Eric Garner, the 43 year old who died after police applied an illegal choke hold on him, both cops in the matter at hand were not indicted on charges after both cases were brought before the grand jury. Then on top of that. both decisions were announced within 8 days. Originally, I was just going to voice out my anger about this and let that be that. After some time and some thinking, I have came up with a another side to these tragic events. So for today's post, I will voice my anger, and disgust with this growing trend of black man getting killed by the police. On another post, I will put these situation into another prospective.

Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened. This has been a recurring thing throughout the history of America. Before the cases of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, you have the case of Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old black teenager who was gunned down for "looking suspicious" while walking home from the neighborhood 7/11 back in 2012. you have John Crawford III, a 22 year old who was gunned down by police because they thought the bebe gun he held in his hands was a real gun. You have Oscar Grant, a 22 year old who was shot by the police while his hands were handcuffed behind his back on New Years day back in 2009. Then you have Sean Bell, a 23 year old black male who was killed when the police shot 50 bullets at his  car the night before he was supped to be married. I could go on and on naming black lives that were cut short back the police for no reason at all.

Now after reading this post thus far, you may be wondering how does this tie into the title of this post. Well in cases you didn't know, 3/5 of a person refers to how blacks were represented during the time of slavery.  As we all know, blacks were not treated well at all during slavery. They were treated and considered just property to their masters and most of America during this time. Now when it came down for taxes and counting people to determine the number of representatives for each state, the south wanted to include the slaves in this count while the north wanted to exclude the slaves from the count. After much debate, the north and the South came to a compromise that would allow the southern state to count every three slaves as one person for representation, thus beginning the Three/fifths compromise.

Okay after that brief history lesson, you are probably wondering what that has to these killings of black people by the police. Well after the verdict of the Eric Garner case, I started to think about how many people get indicted on killing black people. After doing some research, and believe I took me a while, I actually found a few times in which people were indicted and/or faced jail time for the killing of black people. While there are times where justice is served, the number of times people have got off free sadly outweighs the number of people who get off for these actions. When I did my research on the topic, I did find about 4 to 5 cases in which a person was indicted on charges of killing a person. While that is all good and stuff, that numbers doesn't even compare to the dozens of case that I saw in which nothing happened at all. To me, it seems like for every one case that gets an indicted for a wrongly killing of a black person, it is about 12 other cases in which the killer gets away with no repercussions.

With all of that being said, what is the solution to this problem? Well to be honest, I don't know. As I was growing up, my mother would tell me to keep my nose clean so I won't be placed in bad situations. Nowadays, that rule does not apply. You can be doing nothing wrong/minding your own business and still be killed by the police for no just case. After the whole Eric Garner verdict was broadcast to the masses, the President would hold a press conference about the situation and would suggest police wear body cameras. While that is a good idea in theory, what good will that do when the killing of Eric Garner was  caught on tape and nothing happened? To be honest, there is a solution to this problem somewhere but I just don't see it.

I not one to just give up because I know things will get better. If not for me, then things will be better for my baby cousins, my nephews/nieces, and my future offspring. I hope and pray that they will not experience the things and have the fears that most if not all black people face in today's times. I don't know about the rest of the world, but if it doesn't want to change then I will be the means in which positive change shall come. In closing, I will just say pray for better days, and don't let these deaths mean nothing. Let their lives be the venue in which change occurs.

An epic weekend in Atlanta: 26 Born day Edition

Ladies and germs....what does it do??? Now I know been away from this blogging thing for a while, and a lot of things have taken place on the blue rock that we call earth. I will address those things in a later post but for today's read, I will share will you, the readers, about the events that happened about two weekends for my born day. It was truly one for the record books that I will never forget anytime soon. So on that note, lets get on with the post.

THURSDAY
So my actual born day was two weeks ago on Thursday, but I wanted to celebrate it for the whole weekend. What better place to bring it in than the capital of the south aka Atlanta, GA? I have everything planed for that weekend so the only thing left to do was to get the rental car. I go to Enterprise to pick up the rental and I get stuck with a Chevy spark. Now for those who don't know, a spark is basically a really small car. Keep in mind that I am 6'3, round 244, and wear a size 15 in shoes. My big behind had no business in that car. It was so small that I let the seat all the way back and my knees were hitting the steering wheel. The struggle was way too real for a young king like myself. So after a phone call, I got everything fixed. Now before the new rental car, I went to IHOP with my mom for my born day breakfast. Everything was going good. I got my eat on and I was almost out of the door until my mom told the them it was my born day. Of course, they came around me and sang happy born day to me. After it was said and done, I trade in that small spark for a grown my dodge charger. After loading up the car, I was on my way to the A.

After a good two hour drive, I finally arrived at the aquarium. Now since it was my born day, I got in for free. When I got inside, The kid that lives within me was in full affect. I have never since something as amazing as this before. I went into the different displays and saw all types of marine animals. The one that had me in awe were the whale sharks. To describe how big they are would not do them justice. It just one of those things you just have to see. Despite whole big they are, they swam so gracefully in the water. Some other animals I saw were sharks, otters, sting rays, bottom nose dolphins, and an albino alligator. After spending a some time in the aquarium, unfortunately, it was time to go. Before I headed to the car, I grabbed a bit to eat, paid for parking, and then headed to Lenox square.

On may way there, I ran into that awful Atlanta traffic. It took me close to a hour to get to the mall. I braved traffic, and finally walked into the mall. Now when I got in there, i got lost since it was only my fourth time in there. Once I find a map, I stopped by urban outfitters and hanged with my amiga for a while. We caught up, helped me pick out a shirt to buy, and then it was time to part ways....for now.After I left, I was on way to my friends place, but there was just one problem: My phone kept dying on me. Lucky enough, I found a Starbucks and charged my phone just enough to get on the road. At about 10 pm, I arrived at my friends place, caught up with them, and got my drank. After it was all said  and done, it was time to hit the day to prepare for the next day.

FRIDAY
Friday comes along, and of course I am still bring in my born day. On this night, I had a little get together but before we get into this, we have to talk about what happened before to the party. I get up, grab something to get, and then start drinking. I mean why not, it was happy hour somewhere in the world. Around 2, my friends and i decided to got my favorite pizza place in Atlanta. No normally that would have been a 20 minute drive but because the interstate was backed up, we decided to that the back way which ended up being close to a 40 minute drive. After we arrived, we ordered a pitch or beer, a pizza, and some wings. since it was my born day, I got a free shot on the house. after that, we head to a party store to pick up some supplies for the party, the liquor store to get some beer, and then we went to see my homies at work. After it was all said and done, we got back to the crib around 6:30.

So before the party started, me and my friend deiced play beer pong to kill some time. Big mistake on my part since I suck at that game. By the time the game was over, I have drunk about three cans of beer and i started to feel drunk. Keep in mind that I had been drinking all day. To get sober, I drunk a little over a gallon of water, and ate some crackers. I stayed using the bathroom for the next hour and a half. After a game of phase 10, I got sober just in time because folks started arriving to the party.

During the party, of course there was a lot of drinking involved. I mean what kind of part would it be without drinking. During the course of this party, I was drinking, I was drinking. I mostly had beer with a few shots of vodka. I was feeling nice. We were playing all types of drinking games, and the music was banging. Everything was going good until i made the foolish choice of taking two shots of Henny during true of dare. From there, things went down here for me. After the party was over, i slicked passed out. After waking up, I headed straight to the bathroom in which I proceed to throw up. It felt like i was throwing up my soul. While i was throwing up, I kept thinking "why did i put all this poison in my body?" Lucky for me, I felt better and then passed out on the couch for the remainder of the night.

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

Basically, Saturday and Sunday were basically the same day in this epic weekend Besides one or two differences, I did the exact same thing on both days, but they both were amazing. On Saturday, I woke up from my liquor induced coma with no hangover. Yay me. After drinking some water, I started to look for something to eat. Lucky I had the mind set to get some waffle house the night before. While I am eating that, everyone starts to wake up and begin to eat as well. Throughout the whole day, all we did was look at YouTube videos, eat, and talk about  different topics. Around 11, we went out to wet willies and meet up with some folks we went to school with.After we left there, we went to the grocery store, watched some Netflix, and then went to sleep around 3.

Sunday morning, we all woke up slowly one by one. We started off by watch Dexter on Netflix. After about two episodes, everyone went back to sleep. When everyone got up for good, we basically chillaxed the whole day. We finished up season three of American Horror Story, and then got something to eat. After about 2 hours of looking at YouTube videos, we picked up our friend from work. Then about 10 minues later, I got on the road, and headed back to my city.

All in all, I had an amazing weekend. it was truly one for the record books. If someone were to ask me what was the best part of that weekend, I would have to say spending time with my friends. Don't get me now, all the other things I did that weekend was EPIC!!! I had an amazing time, but being around my friends truly made my weekend special. I don't get to see them everyday so when I do see them, it always special and never a dull moment with them. Well folks I think that wraps up this post. As always, life, be great, do dope shit.

What if......

So today marks seven years  to the day that something  happend to me. On this every day, 10-30-207 on a tuesday afternoon,  I met someone  who would life a very lasting impact on my  life.  Now if you have read my previous  post, you know who am referring  to. For those who haven't,  read Nothing  Was The Same. In a nutshell,  I  met someone  special  that day who at the time was nothing but a perfect stranger,  but as time went and passed, she would evolve  from a friend to a person who  means the world to me. Since I  did my last post about  her, has anything  changed.? Did I tell her exactly  how i feel about her? The  answer  to those questions  is no.

The reasons why  is that i still don't  know how to tell her, I didn't where she stayed at, and i knew she was happy.  Well since then, I  have  found  out that she still lives in Atlanta and after talking  to friends, I  came to the conclusion  that I  could  make her happy  as well. Even though all of the advice,  I still haven't said nothing  to her. Part of the reason i haven't  said nothing  is my feelings  for her go on and off , but they stay on must of the time. The other reason  is i honestly  don't  know  what will happen.  As the day has went on, I have been living in the world  of  "what if" about this situation.  "What if".....a world I strongly  recommend  no one pays a vist to.

WHAT IF.....
What if the reason we met that day was for a reason?
What if i had realized  my feelings  for her earlier?
What  if i told her how i feel? 
What if she has/hade the same feels for me as I do her?
What  if we become  a couple?
What if we are  meant  to be/soul mates?
What if all this is happening  to  draw  us together  down  the  line? 
What if we had done this from the start and not wasted  so much time?
Last but not least. ...What  if we are not meant to be?

To be honest, I will probably  never  know the answe to some of these "What ifs" since the  answer to them only  lie in the past. I can speculate  on them as much as I  want, but at the end of the day it wouldn't  change a thing. All I focus  on  is the here and now and the facts.  The facts are; we met 7 years ago, we haven't  seen each other in 6 years, and we haven't  spoken  in a out a year. The facts are that alot of things can happen  during of all of this  time. I know i am definitely  not the same  person I  was back in 2007 and I  know she is not either. If we were to meet, I don't  know if i would  feel  have the same feelings  for the
2014 versions like i do for the 2007 version.

At the end of the day, I can completely  change this whole situation by being up front and just tell her the truth. Tell her how much she means to me. Tell her that I truly miss her. Tell her that i just want her to be happy.  In a nutshell, l can tell her all the things i should  have  told her from the start. After that, the rest is up to her. She can either take accept  my feelings  and return  them, she could  reject them, or she could put me in the infamous "friend zone" area. Anything  would be better than living in a world of "what if". Eventually, I will man up and tell her everything  one of these days and I can move on with my lif3, whether  for better or worse from the  situation.  Hopefully  next year, I won't be writing again about telling her my fellings.  Well folks  that  is all for now.  I usually  say live, be great,  and do dope shit at the  end  of  my post but for this one, I will end it by saying live your truth  no matter  what it maybe.

Current Mood: BLAH

I don't know what is going on, but lately I haven't been feeling like my usually, awesome self. One my say that I am in a runt. I don't know when this actually began, but one day I just felt nothing. I didn't feel happy, sad, or anything in between. It's like all my emotions have left the building, and I am just a empty, soulless, shell of my former self. It seems like all my creative juices, and awesome vibes have been replaced with just working all the time. In a nutshell, you can say that I Have become a cooperate robot....*Plays horror music*

Now to be fair, I can not blame my current issue on just my job. Everyone has to work in order to do just about anything. I see plenty of my friends working, but still find the time/energy to have fun and enjoy life. Some find time to travel, some find time to party, hell some even find time to start up their own businesses. If everyone else is doing such awesome things, then why can't I do the same as well? To be honest, I don't know.

If I am to be completely honest with myself, I am doing the one thing I am tell people not to do: just exist. I truly not living life to the fullest. In fact, it really feels like I am just settling. Settling with having a job that pays less than $8 a hour. Settling for still being in my hometown while just about everyone i know from her has left and started a new phase in their lives. Settling for living at home with my family. Last but not least, settling for the fact that my dreams, goals, and ideas or just too unrealistic to come true. Boy, when did I turn into a lame version of myself???

What can be down to get my groove back? To be honest, the answer is so simple. Basically I need to do three things. The first thing is to get back to what made me who I am/was in the beginning. That means getting back to my art, getting back to discovering new and exciting music, getting back to writing, and getting back to following my dreams and making them a reality. Basically, I need to reignite, and follow my passion. The second thing is I need to move. I am believe your environment has a huge factor in the energy have. Lately, my current surrounds have not been sparking the creative energy that lies within me. Every time I leave and go out of town of the other hand, I feel inspired once again the the mojo comes back in full force. Last but certainly not least, I have to trust and have faith in the plan that God has for me. Everything happens for a reason, and I do believe all of this is a part of a bigger picture. I believe that for to do what God has planned for me, I have to go through all of this to become a strong and better person than I am currently. The good book say that God will not put more on than you care bear.

In summary, am I a slump right now? Yes I am. Will things get better? Eventually, I don't know when.  In reality, all I truly know is this is happening for a reason. What that reason is I have the slightest idea. Whatever the reason is, I hope that will be able to see it, and learn from the experience. All in all, while things may not be ideal in my life right now, things could be way worse. I won't complain about how things are right. I just going to embrace this phase in my life, learn from it, and my the necessary changes to it. Sooner or later, I will return to my awesome self once again. As chance the rapper say in Good Ass Intro, "Even better than i was the last time baby ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh I'm good." Well folks, that is it for now. Until next time...Live, Be Great, Do Dope Shit.