Nothing was the same

So exactly six years ago on this very date, a young 18 old me was enjoying being a freshman at fort valley stage university aka the valley.  Everything was so new to me, and I was slowly but surely getting used to these new changes.  I had people who actually liked me for my weirdness and I was in the cool crowd believe it or not. I was loving every single moment of this. The feeling of having a taste of freedom was a new experience for me.  It seemed the stars had aligned in the heavens,  and things were going great/amazing for me. Nothing could possibility could elevate the feeling of fitting in or just being me at all times,  or so I thought. On October 30 2007, six years ago, I met/was introduced to someone and since then, nothing has been the same.

This day was on a Tuesday,  and during this time I only had two classes to go to so by 12 pm, I would be done for the day. Now around this time, I would go straight from my last class to the cafe to get something to eat.  So after I got my eat on, and I was heading back to my room when I bumped into my homie. When I saw him, he was talking to a female. Now usually he is always talking to someone, so I really did not pay the girl no mind. As I was about to head back to my room, my homie asked me to hang with them. Of course I had nothing better to do so I waent a long with them. As we are walking, we stopped by the girl dorm before heading to my homie's place.  So we take the short cut by to his place,  and during this time,  the two of them are talking up a storm. So five minutes later we get to my homie's place. I sit on the couch and the females sits on the other end of the couch. 

After a while, my amigo goes to the bathroom for a good minute.  So while this was going on,  the girl starts talking to me. She ask me the normal first time meeting. You know what I mean, "how old are you, where are you from, what you like to do, and what's your major. " I answered all of these questions and ask her all of the same questions. So we have a good conversation and everything,  then she ask me do I have a girlfriend.  I tell her no, and when I was about to ask her if she got a boyfriend,  my homie's roommate comes over, gets in the middle of us and start talking to her. Needless to say, he killed the whole vibe of the convo that the female and I had. My homie comes out of his room, and we take her back to her room before we head off to Warner Robins. After that,  I figured I probably wouldn't bump into her again. Boy was I dead wrong.

The next day, I run into her after my last class of the day.  She said hey to me and asked if I remembered her name.  At this point,  I feel bad because she remembered my name and I didn't remember her name.  She tells me her name again and we spark up a small convo. Afterwards I head to my room. Later that night,  I bump into her again before heading to a halloween party. She was with her friend and I was with my friends. We talked again,  and we parted ways again.  We met up at the Halloween party twice and on both occasions, some how we ended up dancing.  After the party, we said our goodbyes and parted ways yet again.

Now over the next few weeks,  we would run into each other and talk to ome another.  We exchange numbers and occasionally texted each other.  We would hangout with our friends or just the two of us. We would eat dinner at the cafe,  and if there was something happening on campus, we would check it out if it was were free. She came to my birthday party before the semester was over and during Christmas break, we talked like twice. When we got back from break, we became cooler and hanged out more.  She was always there for me and I truly appreciated that.  As the school year ended,  we said our goodbyes and parted ways for the summer.

Before the new school year started, she called me to see if I was back at school and just the to catch up. As the semester took place,  a lot of things were going on with me and I didn't want to around basically no one. I was in a really bad place in my life during this time, and it seemed like it was my cross to bare along. Because of this, I pushed a lot of people away,  including her.  I just stopped talking to her, and hanging with her. All she wanted to know what was going on, and why I stopped talking/hanging with her. I didn't want to tell her, so I just left her alone and ignored her. At the time, i honestly thought I was during the right thing for her by not being near or around her. I didn't want to drag her in to my own problems.  This lasted the whole semester.  By the time Christmas break, I just told her whay was going on and told her I was sorry. She forgave me and we were cool once again.  Before the new semester started,  I decided to take some time off from school to deal with some problems. Before I left,  I saw her, she asked if I was okay,  then she gave me and hug and smiled.  That was the last time I saw her.

While I was away, I started to miss her. I don't know why but I really did mise her. I talked to her every once in a while via text, and I was cool with that. When I was away, one of the main reasons I wanted to returned was just to see her.  Unfortunately, that would not happen.  When I told her I was returing back to for valley,  she told me that she had transferred to another school. Of course I was sad about this, but at the same time,  I was happy because she was doing what made her happy.  I would text her once a month just to talk and that was cool. After awhile,  we lost touch with one another and I thought that was the end of the story, but occasionally,  she would inbox me on Facebook. I would  be happy to be able to talk to her and catch up with her.

All during this time,  I would starting thinking about her at days at a time.  She would be the only thing I would thing about,  and  I would start to miss her like crazy. I don't know why, but I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Its like I was missing a part of me or something like that. I would be cool,  and then in a second, I will be foused only her. I have tried to stop caring and stop thinking of her, but it just not happening.  This has been goning on for years and I see no end to this at all. As soon as I get back to normal,  something reminds me of her or she hits me up and I am back at square one once again.  I told my best friend about this she always tell me that I am in love. I don't know how true this is. All I know is this female is on my mind 80% of the time and sometimes my heart only wants to be with her.

So what does it all means? To be honest, I truly don't know.  All I can do is just play my cards and see what happens from there. At this point in our lives, we are at two very different stages in our lifes. Hell we are not even in the same continent anymore.  I truly don't know what wll of this means.  As soon as I believe I have things figure out,  theres is a curve ball thrown at me. Will this all out for the better? Who knows to be honest. All I know is everything happens for a reason.  What the reason for all of this? Well, as soon as I figured that out I will let yall know.  At the end,  this day will always hold a special place to me. Till this day, I can remember everything that happened on this day like it just happened. From the things we talked about to the clothes that she wore, every detail is etched into the depths of my mind,heart, and soul. This will always be known as the day that I met some one who at time I didn't realize how special they were be to me. Eventuality,  I feel that everything will work out for the best. So until then, I guess this saga of my life will continue to play out the way that it is meant to play out.

At the end, what will your line say about you?

I have been meaning to do this post for a few days now, but between working, and looking for new job, I really haven't been focused enough to actually do it. Well since I have some free time, now is a better time to go ahead with this. About two ago, i saw the tribute episode of glee to Cory Monteith and his character Finn Hudson. For those who don't know, Glee is one of my favorite shows and Cory was one of the biggest stars on the show. Unfortunately, Cory died this year due to an accidental overdose. As the Glee cast honored and said goodbye to Cory's character, one scene from this show stuck out the most to me. Towards the end of the episode,  one of the characters named puck said something while he was at the memorial tree that was planted in Finn's honor.  As he was talking to coach beast and looking at Finn's memorail, he says to the coach that the most important thing isn't the numbers that state when you leave and die. The most important thing is the line between the numbers.  Afterwards,  puck hops on his bike and coach beast tells him to have a good line.  That one scene had me thinking about what will my line say about me.

Now I am still young. So far, my line will say that I was a good friend, a good family person, a college graduate,  and working a part time job. I really haven't done anything big/major and I still in the process of becoming the man that I know I can be. Now some of yall who are reading this are probably thinking I have my whole to have a great line.  That's the thing, no one knows how long or short their line will be. We see these days that people are dropping like flies everywhere you look. Some people are old and some are young that are dying each and every day. Who is to say that I won't be one of the young who left this earth before reaching their potential. One of my biggest fears is that I will not live up to the potential that others see in me or, more importantly, not achieving the potential and greatest that I know I process.

I always tell people that all I am trying to do is  live life, be great,  and do dope shit. What that saying boils down to is three simple things: 1. I want to live my life to the fullest so I won't look back on my life and llive in the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" world. 2. In every thing I do, no matter how big or small it may be, I want to be the best/greatest to do it. 3. I want to do dope/cool/great stuff. I don't want to be one of the people that just reads about history.  I want to be the person that creates history.  I want to create an empire of greatness that will stand the test of time.  Most people may not see that this is possible, but I see examples that proves the doubters wrong.  People from all walks of life prove that with hard work, passion,  and drive, the seeming impossible can be achieve and become possible. That is exactly what I want to do.

As the the days come closer to my 25th born day, I begin to reflect on these years that I have lived. In all, I have lived a pretty normal/good life. Its only in the past year that I have really wanted more out of my life than just a regular life with a normal 9 to 5 while others follow thier dreams and make an impact in the world.  I know people that I know that are doimg this exact thing. They are starting businesses,  companies, and movements that can and will be major millistones in the upcoming years and decades. As my 25th born day comes, I plan to live a more full filling life. I plan to stop watching history and start making history.  I want to build an empire/legacy that will stand the test of time. I think the 3 most important things I want to achieve with the remaining of my life is become successful, be a person that someone can look up to and inspire them to do great things, and mostly importantly,  be the best version of me thqt I can possibly can be.  All these things and more is what I want my line to say qbout me when it is all say and done.

Things I dont get part 4 section b

Ok I back with last part of this two part saga. Now in part one, I talked about the dangers of mixing social media with personal information. Now I not going into detail on the post so if you haven't read it yet, then go check it out. If not then just tough.  So in section b, I will talk about the most said phrase in these cyber streets after someone, mainly a famous person, says after they go on a massive social media vent session, well expect kanye. So can you guess thats world phrase? If you said my account got hacked, then you are correct.

Now after his semi world famous tweet rampage, Gucci did the typical thing and say that his account was hacked. Well he didn't actually say that, his brother said it and gucci retweeted it but that's besides the point. Gucci did what other famous be have done; used the hacked twitter account excuse, which no one believes anymore, to save face. Some people do this, and others just delete what they posted and pray the mo one saw that they posted and/or took a screenshot of their madness. Now instead of saying that the person is fake, the thing that has me thinking is why did that person post that tweet, picture, or status in the first place. After countless minutes of thing, I have come up with two possible reason for this epidemic. 

The possible reason is they don't really mean for they posted in the first place. Now at one point or another we have all gotten hot head and said or done something in the heat of the moment. When that happened  back in the day, we could get away with it if no one saw what we did or we could apologize what the actions that we have done. That is not the case anymore these days. With everybody recording their lives on the internet via social media, a hot headed moment can not be simply taken away. Once something is on the net, it is there forever, and then with the procession of screenshots, nothing really belongs to anybody anymore. Now something that a person probably didn't even mean is out there for the whole world to see.

The second reason I see this happening is for promotion for a movie, album, makeup, or anything that require people to buy it. Now lately I been seeing this trend happen quite often lately. A prime example of this would be what happened between Rhianna and Teyana Taylor a few weeks ago. Now I don't know exactly how this started but for a good hour, these two females were going at it on twitter. Now Teyana was really passionate about the issue. She was going all the way in. Now Rhianna on the other hand, not so much. At first, she was going in then she flipped the script and started to promote her new mac make up line. No only did she promote her make up line, she basically took advantage of Teyana. I guess what they say is true; there is no such thing as bad press.

As the need to vent via internet grows, this hot headed social media epidemic will continue to grow and get out of hand. If folks are going to keep during this, then at least own up to it. Don't back out and disown what you put out into the world. Just own up to it and move on because at the end of the day, no one really cares until you making a big deal about it. As much as i have talked about him, I have to give up to Gucci. After it was all said and down, he eventually owned up to his twitter rampage and apologized to everyone. So take a page from him in this case and keep it 100 at all times.