Pretty vs Beauty

Ladies and germs, here we are once again. By now, yall should know that these topics for my post are totally random. I don't sit down, and think about what I going to talk about.  This ideas just going to me, and this topic is no different.  As I was on the gram *instagram for those who didn't know* I was looking at some random pictures.  As I looked on, I saw some pictures of different females. When I looked at the photos, I saw that all of the pictures showcased pretty females. I saw a few pictures of female that looked gorgeous. As I continued to few this picture, I noticed that not one picture that I saw was showed a beautiful female. I then began to question what does it mean to be beautiful vs what does it mean to be pretty, and ladies and germs that I what I will try to explain on this post.

What does it mean to be pretty?  Well according to dictionary.com, pretty is defined as "pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness: a pretty face". To be pretty is something from a physical standpoint.  In general, to be pretty you have to only look good. Just by that standard alone, there's a lot of pretty people in the world.  There are people who will pay top dollar to be considered pretty in the world's view. While being pretty is OK, what else will that get you? You can get all the complements in the world for you outward appearence, but what about the inside? You have to process more than looks. I have seen a lot of pretty females in my life, but their attitudes make take away from their appearance. Kanye West once said in All Falls Down "the prettiest people do the ugliest things on the road to richest and diamond rings." Looks will only get you so far in life, and after they fade away what do you have left? Nothing, plain and simple. Now that we have defined pretty,  let's move on to beauty.

What does it mean to have beauty?  Once again, we go to dictionary.com for the definition for this words. Beauty is defined as" the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)." To further go on, beautiful is defined as "having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind: a beautiful dress; a beautiful speech." Beauty is subjective. If you ask what makes a person beautiful, you will get a million different responses.  Since I am writing this, I will tell you what I found beautiful in a female.  What makes a female beautiful to me is a number of things. It can be as simple as the way she smiles,her laugh, her eyes, and the way she carries herself. It can be complex as the way she views the world, the conversation that we have, her mind, her personality, and other things. I find one thing that really makes a girl beautiful is if she can stimulate my mind. These things among others are what makes a female beautiful to me.

So after reading all of this, you may be wondering what makes me the expect of pretty vs beauty. Well yo be honest, I am not an expert. I just speaking on the experience that I have had. Like I said earlier, throughout my 25 years on this earth,  I have seen my fair share of pretty females.  After getting to know some of these females, their basic/bad personality overshadowed there looks. After that happened, then they just became a basic female.  When it comes to beauty, I can honestly say that I have met a few females that had a few beautiful qualities,  but I have truly have met only one beautiful female in my life.  She had all the qualities that I have mentioned that makes a female beautiful plus she also had a X Factor to her. I would go on about her but that's not what this post is about.

Once again folks, we have come to the end of another post. I gave yall my opinion on what the difference between being pretty vs being beautiful.  At the end of the day, it is up to each person to define the difference between these two terms. As the old phrases goes, "Beauty is in the eye if the beholder. " Well that is all for this post. As always,  live life, be great,  and do dope shit.

The 24 Year Journey

Well ladies and germs, it is the third Sunday in June which mean it is father's day. Now this day is meant to honor the father's or a father figure in a person's life.  That what the holiday is meant for, but over the years this day has morphed into different things depending on who you ask.  Some people still honor the true meaning of this day. Some people treat this say as a second mothers day. Some people decide to take this day a bash their dads. Now everyone has their own right and reason to treat this day in however way they choose to. This post is not meant to bash no one. This is just my journey on the 24 years it took me to say happy father's day to the one person I used to detest the most. To get to where I could say happy father's day, we got to start at the beginning.

For much of my early life, I didn't know who my father was. I knew I had one but if I had to pick him out from a group of people,  I would fail at the task. The earliest I think I remember seeing him was like when I was 4 or 5. I think he came by and visit me but again I am not for sure about this. Now every since I could remember, I would get a call from him around my birthday and I would always get the one thing I asked him to get me.  At the time that was cool with me since I never asked to see/know him. To know I had a dad was good enough for me. All of that changed one faithful Saturday afternoon. 

When I was either 10 or 11, I was doing what most kids did on a Saturday morning;  wake up super early just to watch cartoons.  Well just as Power Rangers was just about to come on, my grandma tells me that there's someone here to see me. Rather than go right away to see who the person was, I was trying to keep on watching Power Rangers.  After 3 minutes,  I got up and went to see who this person was. I go to the living room and I see this man sitting there just staring at me. After a few minutes he asked me did I knew who he was. After I said no, he told me he was my dad. Most people would have been shocked, mad, or happy to finally see their dad. Not me. To be honest, I didn't feel one way or another.  I was just glad I had a face to put the voice too. After about a 30 minute talk, he got in his car and left. When he left, I didn't see him for a long time.

The years that followed this meeting,  I started to get mad at him.  It wasn't for him not being apart of my life. I was mad because I thought I would see him more but I didn't. I knew he was in the army and that took up his time, but trying telling that to a growing teenage boy. During our teen years,  nothing logical makes sense to us. He would still call and give me the one gift for my birthday,  but after a while that wasn't enough.  In the purest and simplest way, I just wanted my dad. During this time,  I got the idea that I didn't want to get marries because I didn't want to have kids and leave them like he did to me. I didn't want to become my father.

Fast forward to my senior year of high school,  everything was going good for me. I was making good grades and I was on track to graduating. Then one day,  my mom tells me that my dad was coming in town and wanted to see me. At first,  I didn't want to see him or want nothing to do with him. On the day of the meet, my aunt told me that no matter what he was still my dad. Just hear him out and forget about the past. With that in mind, I went and saw him. Little did I know that he would bring along my little brother that I would meet for the first time.  So we spent the day together. We talked,  laughed,  and had some real father/son time. All of that,  all of the ill feelings I once had for him went away. 

After that day, things changed.  We talked more, email each other, and had our own version of father/son time. It didn't matter that I didn't see him cause I felt for once that he really cared for me. He came to my high school graduation, and I spent a whole with him and my step mom for a whole week. For then on out, I thought nothing would come between us.  Boy was I wrong. Everything changed when I got to college.

Now I am on my own. I was having my first taste of freedom.  I really didn't have a care in the world other than my school work. While I was in school, the talks between us became fewer and fewer. Eventually,  they didn't happen at all. To be honest. I couldn't tell you why this happened. Then one day, I get a call from my mom that my dad had stopped putting money in my account.  This came out of nowhere. He didn't even give me a reason for this.  After that,  I wanted nothing to do with him. Then after eight months of not talking, we soft of made up with each other,  but it would not last long.

It is the week after my 20th birthday and I was home for Christmas break.  On one Saturday,  my mom tells me that my dad is on his way to pick me up. Now I at this point,  I not mad at him. I just didn't want nothing to do with him. He comes by and picks me up. We try and have a conversation, but that was a waste of time.  We get to the mall and he ask me have I ever had pedicure before.  I tell him no, and he says let's go get one. I tell him no, he asked why I didn't want one and I tell him that I don't want no one messing with my feet. At this point,  I can clearly tell that he is pissed off. We get to the food court and we start talking.  He asked me did I know when was he birthday.  When I told him I didn't know,  he flipped.  He would go on to say "You wonder why I didn't call and tell you happy birthday this year?  It is not because I forgot. It is because I didn't want to. If you are not going to tell me happy birthday then I won't tell you happy birthday neither." When he said that, I was crushed.  At that point, no one had ever hurt me like he did. He hurt me so bad that I want to cry. The reason that hurt me so much because it was like he was telling me that I didn't matter to him anymore.  I told my mom what happened,  and she would tell me don't worry about him because everything would be alright.  Even though I said ok, deep down inside I knew it wouldn't be alright.

For the next three years. I didn't talk to him or have shit to do with him. He was basically dead to mr. If anyone would ask when was the last time I talked to him. I would instantly get mad. I didn't want him to be apart of my life and I didn't want to be a part of his. My old ideas of being alone forever came back and were stronger than ever.  I Honestly felt like that was the only way not to turn out like him. I would speak to him until Thanksgiving of 2012.

He called my phone and I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to him. Then he called the house.  Even though I didn't want to talk to him, I was forced to.  After about 3 minutes into the phone, he asked why I haven't called him.  At that moment,  I just unleashed on the pinned up emotions I had about him. I let him know exactly how I felt. Even though my family heard me, I didn't care.  Afterward,  he asked did I want him at my college graduation.  At first I told him he could come if he wanted to, but then I just told him to come. Before i said goodbye, just e would drop a bombshell, telling me i had a little brother and sister.  After I hung up, I was wondering why I said he could come to my graduation. In retrospect,  that was probably the best choice I could have made.

Here is the day of my college graduation.  The day I have been looking forward for the longest. I was not going to let anyone or anything ruin my day. Hearing my named called and walking across the stage to get my degree has been one of the best feelings I have had do far. After graduation was over, I spoke to everyone and took some pictures. Then about an hour and a half later, we go to chedders to have my graduation dinner.  Now while we was waiting to be sittied, my dad was just sitting by himself. My grandma told me to go over there and talked to him. As I was going over there,  he got up and went outside.  At that moment is when I realized I was doing to him what I felt like he was doing to me all these years.  I didn't want him to feel like that.  I went outside and talked to him, and from then on everything has been good between us.

We talk like twice a month about any and everything. It really feel like that I am wanted, and loved by my dad. That is what I wanted all of this time. It even gotten to the point that I did two things that I never thought I would do. Last I told him happy father's day. Then when his birthday came around, told him happy birthday.  He would go on to tell me that meant the most to him since I never told him that before. It made me happy that I could make him happy.  To this day, we keep in contact on the regular.  Nothing could be better between us.

Well ladies and germs, that is my story.  What is the point of this story you may ask? To be honest,  it doesn't have a point.  If you can take one thing away from this stroy is that it's never too late to start a new beginning. Even if are mad at your father, be grateful that you have one. If you know who your dad is, get in contact with him and start/strength your relationship with him. If you don't know him, just be thankful that he help give you life and tell the father figure in your life how much you love/appreciate him.. Just keep in mind with out our dads, none of us would be here. Well folks, that is all for this post. As always live life, be great, and do dope shit.